Chills

twenty-three

"Ivree..."

I hear someone calling my name but I can't seem to move. Well actually I'm not sure I can or if I want to.

"Ivree..." the voice repeats. "Please, I know you're here."

Chills creep up my arm and now I definitely do not want to open my eyes. I shake my head and hope for the first time to go back to my white cell. I don't want to deal with this. I already know he's chosen her. Why do I still have to suffer. I just want to disappear.

"Ivree, please show yourself. I just want to talk to you..." he trails off. "If you can't show yourself, at least make your presence known so I don't feel crazy here."

The last thing I remember is strangling Clarissa and then Robby calling out to me to let her go. I feel weak from all that energy spent doing that--or it could be from being possessed.

Why does Robby want to talk to me now if he saw me almost killing his new girlfriend?

I take a deep breath and slowly release it as Robby calls for me again. I can't just keep him yelling for me all day. Plus I know I won't leave this place until I talk to him.

I blink open my eyes and I instantly want to hiss like a cat or wild animal when exposed to a bright light.

I think I actually do because Robby spins on his heels and he looks relieved when his eyes meet mine.

"There you are."

"What--?" I gasp.

My voice sounds so hoarse that I question for how long I haven't opened my eyes or how long I've stayed "asleep."

"Ivree," he whispers and takes a step forward.

Instinctively, I take a step back and observe what's around me. I feel like this is some sort of trap or something.

We're in my hospital room. His back is to the physical me and I'm facing both myself and him. He doesn't seem to have any weapons to revenge Clarissa and it's a surprise that he can see me.

"Ivree, look. I want to talk to you. That's why I've summoned you here."

"You didn't summon me here," I snap bitterly. "I brought myself here, unfortunately."

Robby hesitates. "Well, in any case, I still want to talk to you. As you can see--" he turns to look at the other me, "--you aren't getting any better so I figured, y'know..."

Robby shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He avoids my gaze for a few moments.

"You want to say your last few words before I disappear, you mean?"

Robby nods awkwardly. "Exactly. I know you've been around for a while. I could feel you and I always felt like someone was watching me. That was you, wasn't it?"

I nod but don't make an effort to voice my thoughts.

"It was also you who strangled Clarissa?"

I blink a few times before I nod again, more slowly. "It was an accident..."

"I forgive you, Ivree. I understand why you did it. At the time I was so furious that you would do that but then I got to thinking that if ever I saw you with another man, I would've done the same thing."

"How long ago did I do that?"

"It was four months ago."

"And how long have I been in this coma?"

"...It'll be a year next week."

My eyes almost bulge out of their sockets. "What!?" I sputter.

"I've kept you on life support for as long as I can but they want to unplug you next week. They say it's almost impossible that you'll wake up at this point..." his eyes drop to the floor. "That's why I want to say I'm sorry that I couldn't wake you up and I'm sorry I treated you like crap. I'm not done--" he raises his hand when I open my mouth to add something, "--You were the best thing to ever happen to me and I'll never regret meeting you. Unfortunately the human heart can be deceiving and sometimes it can't bear to be alone. I've fallen in love with Clarissa but that doesn't mean I've fallen out of love with you. I will always love you and I'll never forget you. I'm sorry I shut you out for so long and I'm sorry I waited this long to apologize."

"You apologized once already," I say after a few seconds.

He looks confused at that statement.

"When you told me to fight for you. You wanted me to wake up and I heard you apologizing then. I let you speak, now let me express myself--" I instantly shut him up, "--I want to say that I've finally forgiven you. I was so angry at you and I hated Clarissa for stealing you away from me but now I understand that you need her. If you didn't have her or if she would've never came to see you, I'm terrified of what you would've been right now. Clarissa made you happy and you act different now. I'm happy that I can see you smile after so long."

"Clarissa is like my light in the dark, Ivree. She supports me through everything I do and she's perfect, but she'll never be you. You'll always be my favourite love."

"You as well, Robby. My one true love."

"Would you like to speak to Clarissa? She's waiting outside but she's terrified of seeing you. She thinks you despise her."

"I did, but if I'm dying next week then I need to find my peace."

"You're sure?"

"Let her in."

"Clarissa!" Robby calls and a few seconds later, a wide-eyed Clarissa timidly steps into the room.

My eyes travel to her neck and guiltily I observe the hand marks I left on her perfect pale neck. There's a few purple and red marks and I can literally see my hand print.

When she's completely inside and has closed the door behind her, she murmurs, "Hello, Eveline."

I cock my head. "Clarissa."

"I'm really sorry--"

"--I've forgiven you. I want to thank you for taking care of Robby when I wasn't able to. You've managed to show him that he can't give up on life just because I'm dead. You brought my Robby back to his old self and I couldn't be happier. Please protect him and watch over him while I'm gone." I turn to Robby because I sense my time running out. "I'll be waiting for you. I really hope to see you again one day and thank you for keeping me alive for this long. You have no idea how grateful I am to have had this experience. I've learned a lot about myself, maybe too late, but you know what they say: it's never too late. Goodbye, my love..."

Tears start falling on Robby's cheeks as he spits out a strangled sob. "Ivree, I love you!"

His voice echoes in my ears as I fade away.