The Painter's Amour

His Solitude

Picture: Alex Pettyfer as Julius Hartwell

Chapter 18: His Solitude

“Solitude has soft, silky hands, but with strong fingers it grasps the heart and makes it ache with sorrow.” – Kahlil Gibran

Julian Hartwell

It had been a week since my lover, Dante, left me and I spent all those days moping in despair. I tried to pretend once that everything was alright but it was useless. The things around me only made me remember him all the time and the happiness we shared in the past.

But that happiness was what tore me apart because I know that it will never happen again.

These sad thoughts of mine still engulfed me as I continued to live my days without him and saying that it was difficult was merely an understatement. There was nothing harder than waking up one day to realize that our relationship was over and he was no longer here.

“Place these carnations next to the gardenias,” said a masculine voice.

I turned my head around and I was greeted by a familiar pair of silver blue eyes looking down on me.

I stood up from the floor before taking the flower pot from him without a word. He stared at me for a moment as if debating on something but soon he let me be. I placed the said flower pot on the plant stand near the only display window of this shop and next to the gardenias.

The man earlier was my brother, Julius. He was my fraternal twin and he was younger than me by a minute although his appearance and personality appeared more mature than mine hence people sometimes mistook me as the younger one.

The both of us were once very close even after he learned that I was different, in a way that I was not attracted to women. He accepted me for who I was but then our close relationship began to strain when I became someone’s secret affair.

My brother accepted the person I was but not the person I love.

I looked over the shop window and I frowned upon seeing my own reflection. Dark circles were marking themselves under my eyes and my lips were no longer flushed like always. The cream color of my face diminished that I ended up looking pale – dead pale.

I ignored my unhealthy appearance and proceeded to resume on nurturing the plants.

Like my brother who owned this shop, I also adored anything and everything about flowers and plants, their softness against my fingers when I touch them and their unique colors when I stare at them were always my source of comfort all the time.

And right now, they were my solace for my broken heart.

“Samuel told me everything. I’m sorry for not being there for you.” the same voice came beside me.

“I know and I understand but still... you don’t forgive me for cheating on someone else’ fiancée right?” I replied as I picked up a water bucket nearby before starting to water the flowers and plants mildly to prevent them from withering.

“I got what I deserve.” I included without sparing a glance on him out of fear that I’ll see him angry again just like the time I confessed to him about my relationship with the person I was forbid to be with.

“What did you say?” Julius asked with his tone sounding upset right after I told him about what happened on the dinner I had with Dante and Amelia earlier.

“I said that I agreed to be his affair. I know it is wrong but I love him and I want to be his even if our relationship is sinful. Please understand me.” I explained my reason to him while still wearing the vent suit I wore during the dinner.