Soulmates Are Harder Than I Thought • Lams

Chapter VII: Crushing Is Awful

John couldn't pay attention to any of his classes, all he could think of was Alex, and he hated himself because of that. He made himself very clear that a future with Alex was impossible, he better start focusing on his career because apparently he's destined to die without a soulmate. In the French class it just got worse, instead of paying attention to anything the teacher was saying, he doodled on his sketchbook, which he luckily always carried around. He just let his mind wander and his hand to the work. He thought of that morning again, Alex on top of him; he normally is the one to always be on top, but the idea of Alexander riding him was, in his mind, erotic enough to give him a boner. That thought led to the thought of sex with Alex, and that led to Alex naked... before he realized it, he was already sketching an imagine of Alexander laying down, naked. He sat up straight and stammered faintly. Why was he drawing this!? He shouldn't be even thinking about Alexander in that light!
But he couldn't throw the drawing away, it would be a waste of art materials. And they're expensive. John just quickly took out a random folder and placed the drawing there, hiding it from other people.

John was a total mess right now. Right in the morning, Alex falls on top of him which means John now has some obscene thoughts on the event, he scolded himself really bad for even honking about telling Alexander the truth, and now? Now he was drawing a naked Alexander, in a class where he should be paying attention, and he didn't even threw the paper away, he kept it to himself, he didn't knew why, he just wanted it.

He tried to keep himself focused, not risking it and taking his papers and pens out again to draw, once again, Alexander, he just couldn't take him off his mind; and the more John thought about how he wouldn't be able to be with him, the more he wanted to walk out and cry. It wasn't the fact that it was Alex, he really wanted to get to meet Alexander better, he wanted to get to know him on a deeper level. It was the fact that he would never be able to be with his soulmate. They were a perfect match! According to the universe, at least; but the universe, or fate, or whatever liked to mess with John's emotions, also thought Alex and Eliza were a perfect match.

Class was over, probably the longest 2 hours of John's entire month since the last year of college started. He walked out as quick as possible and took out his headphones; he had a good 45 minutes before his next class, so the campus café sounded like a perfect place to eat something or drink some coffee. So while he listened to music, he made his way over there with his money already ready.

He opened the door and the strong smell of pastries and coffee hit him, making him hum in delight. He walked over to the counter. "Hey Peggy." he greeted the cashier, Eliza's youngest sister, who worked there.

"Hey John, how you doing?" she asked smiling brightly, but then her smile faded. "Oh my god!" she smiled wide again, and John was completely confused.

"Is there—"

"You found your soulmate!" she said jumping up and down, excited. John just looked down to his hands and turned red in embarrassment, he tried to mask it off and smiled, pretending to be flustered. "Tell me all about it, yeah?"

"I'm sorry, Peggy, it'll have to be another day, I have class in like half an hour and I want to eat." he said as he chuckled faintly.

"Oh! I'll sit with you! My shift's almost over so, order your food." she smiled at him as she composed herself. John smiled at her, and ordered a cinnamon roll and a latte. He paid the eight dollars and walked to a booth in the corner; wrong choice.

The people sitting on the booth behind his, are none other than Alexander and Eliza. Just his luck.

He decided to stay quiet and eat his cinnamon roll while he listened to their conversation. Now, he knew spying wasn't good, and an invasion of privacy, but the curiosity was eating him inside.

'John, no, you'll just hurt yourself. You know they're very happy! Do you want to hear them be happy while you just listen, and realize you'll never have that with Alexander?' Yes, I do want to listen to them talking! 'Brace yourself, you know it isn't going to end pretty.'

John sat down more comfortable, and turned his whole attention to their conversation.

"–hardest in the world, but hey! I learned to extract some DNA out of a rat, that'll help somewhere in life." Eliza laughed, so did Alexander.

"I couldn't possibly do that." said Alexander, smiling at her, adoration in his eyes. "You must be really patient if you even have the self control not to burn anything down."

"I can be patient, at least that's what I like to think." said Eliza.

John could hear their smiles at each other, he could feel the tiny, meaningful glances, and he hated them fervently. Every laugh, word, or moment was like a dagger to his already damaged emotions. He stayed there and listened for what seemed various hours, but were really like ten minutes, fifteen minutes till his next class. He started drinking his coffee, when Peggy sat down in front of him.

John never talk to any of the Schuyler's, except Peggy. Believe it or not, they bonded by both being LGBT, he was gay, which was pretty obvious, and Peggy was asexual panromantic. John had a little gay flag pin on his backpack, and Peggy quickly walked over to him. They've been friends ever since, but not close close friends. John had never even talked to the older sister, Angelica, who already graduated and was currently talking some post-graduate studies; John only ever talked to Peggy.

"Okay! Tell me everything." she said excited. "When did it happen? Why didn't you tell me? How was it?" she swarmed John in questions, all of them without a moment for John to answer. If John got swallowed by the floor at that moment, he wouldn't've complained. "Was it like they say? Can you really see all the colors?"

"Yeah I can." he smiled faintly. "I'm sorry Peggy, the conversation will have to wait, I have class soon." he stood up.

"See you this afternoon?" Peggy asked, smiling still, not faltering. John nodded, and without saying another word, he walked out. He threw one last glance in Alexander's direction, only to find him French kissing Eliza like there was no tomorrow. He swallowed hard, and walked away.

This chapter is very lighthearted, so props to me for not breaking anyone's heart for now
~ Sarah