Soft.

t w e n t y

"Is she sleep?" Naomi asked, and he nodded his head. "Samuel is a friend of the family. When I was younger, I really liked being around him. He was fun and very.. funny, I guess. After our dad left, he really picked up the slack. He helped my mom and everything. But, he had a real mean streak. He could be so evil at times. And one night, I walked in on him molesting my little cousin. That night changed everything."

"Did he—"

Naomi shook her head no. "At least not then. Even at that age, I knew it wasn't right. But, I never said anything because Sam really couldn't do anything wrong in the eyes of my mother. As long as my mom's bills were paid, she didn't care. When my mom wasn't being money hungry, she was the best mom ever." There was a long pause before she shook out of her trance. "Anyway, when I got older, Amir got caught with possession of cocaine. He was supposed to do 15 years, but only served ten. While he was in prison, it was rough. We lost the house, we hungry and homeless. I had to do something, you know? My mom couldn't work. I figured that Sam would help us because this was for my mom. He would help... But, he wanted something in return."

Zeke sighed heavily. "I'm so sorry Naomi. So sorry you went to through that."

Naomi looked at him. "He would beat and rape me every night then throw the money on me like I was worthless. Like I didn't mean anything to anyone. Then to make matters worse, he allowed his friends in on it. I was sleeping with 5 guys for money. Money that got my mom her house back and her bills paid. Surely she didn't think that me being a waitress at a small diner was getting that paid off. No, she just didn't give a fuck." She shrugged her shoulders. "She got what she wanted. That's why she'll never see Nia again. Because if she allowed him to do that to me, she wouldn't care what he did to her. And toys is how he starts his abusing."

She roughly wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'm such an ass." Zeke shook his head. "I'm out here hating black women because of what woman did to me. To hear what you went through and to see what you are now, guys like me don't deserve women like you."

"Why do you deny yourself heaven?" She looked at him. "Yes, I usually don't like guys like you. But, you have a reason and it may not justify it, but I get it. You shut every woman out who looked like her because she's the source of your pain. Zeke, that's totally natural. And you probably just told people that you disliked us because we're loud or something of that nature. There's many black men like you. I still fight for black men like you whether I know it or not. Whether I like it or not. But, you see that we're not all the same. You see it. You deserve a black woman who's going to love you, cherish you, hold you.. don't ever deny yourself that because of what one black woman did. You see that black girl back there?" She pointed towards Nia. "She adores you and she just met you. She sees what I see."

"What is that?" He finally looked up at her.

"In your eyes is your humanity, the person you really are. There are times it gets lost, when you wear that suit, when you become the man the world demands of you. There is something in your spirit that dances when you play, like a fire giving just the right amount of warmth. I have seen it die too, just now.. the flames almost extinguished, when you are under the gun of guilt, shame and fear. I know that isn't you, not the real version. That's why I had to see your eyes, to see the real you. You had to see me too, the woman who messes up, but would do anything in her power to keep you safe, to keep you emotionally healthy. Because you deserve that."

Suddenly, Zeke sobbed unceasingly. Naomi undid her seatbelt, and got out of the truck to go around to his side. Opening his door, she reached for him and he laid his head on her chest. Her tears matched his, and in that moment, they both knew that they were broken. Life had taken its toll on both, but in a way, they needed one another. Neither was going to heal the other, but together, they would get on that path to emotional freedom.