Total Drama Minecraft Returns

Episode 13

"Isn't this a little harsh?" Kain asked, glancing at Chloe.

Herobrine shrugged. "Probably. First up--"

Suddenly, the huge wall of speakers and amplifiers fell backwards and crashed on the ground.

Herobrine sighed. "Come on! Those would have been cool!"

The speakers responded by exploding. The stage and raised platforms were unscathed, though.

"Whatever. First up, Kain vs. Wilbur!" Herobrine announced.

***

Wilbur and Kain stepped up to the opposing platforms. They stared at each other.

"I will randomly select who will go first, and the roast battles after that will alternate accordingly," Herobrine said. He snapped his fingers, and lightning struck next to Wilbur, making him scream.

"Wilbur goes first! Ready, set, go!"

"Uh...you're a real dog and all you do is woof," Wilbur said. "I wish you would go jump off the woof! Get it? Like roof?"

Kain shook his head. "You're a fat pig with a terrible sense of humor. Most of your puns don't even make sense."

"Oh yeah? Well you bark, which reminds me of bark on a tree! And trees are boring!" Wilbur shouted.

Kain raised an eyebrow. "You're trying to roast me with puns. It's not working. My roasts are so good, I turned you into bacon!"

"Yeah, well....uh.......I got nothing," Wilbur sighed.

"Kain wins!" Herobrine announced. "That's a point for the Screaming Zombies! Next up, Lloyd vs. Stella!"

***

Lloyd and Stella climbed up to their opposing platforms.

"This is sick, dude," Lloyd chuckled into the microphone.

"Since Wilbur went first last time, Lloyd will go first this round," Herobrine said. "Ready, set, go!"

"Dude, you're just a tiny little girl," Lloyd said with a lazy grin. "You don't stand a chance in this competition."

"I don't stand a chance?" Stella asked incredulously. "Have you looked in a mirror lately? You're too sloppy and lazy to do anything for yourself! The only reason you're still in the competition is because your teammates have other threats to worry about."

Lloyd's jaw dropped. "Not cool, bro. I bet you couldn't even lift a stick off the ground."

"I doubt you could either," Stella retorted. "You're too lazy to bend down that far! Get a life other than sleeping and eating all day."

"That's not all I do, man," Lloyd said. "Sometimes I play video games. As for you, I bet you're still in school!"

"I am, and I'm passing with all A's," Stella responded. "I bet you dropped out after sixth grade."

"Seventh, actually," Lloyd replied.

There was a pause as Lloyd waited for Stella to reply. He didn't realize he forgot to roast her.