If Only (Something More Than Just This)

I'm Tired Of It. (Chapter 5)

"Oh no pretty boy, you are the sexiest and hottest guy!" I said teasingly. And we both started laughing. Now this was comfortable again, nothing awkward.  

"So anyways what about him?

"Well, I met him yesterday and you know how YOU are, he is the exact same all flirty and $hiit. Today I saw him again when I went for a walk. He asked me if he could join and I OBVIOUSLY refused, but he did anyways. And then when I reached at my door, he came in and no I did NOT invite him in. Then I went to my room and he followed me to my room. I told him stuff that I guess I shouldn't have said? And he was all so weird. Anyways that's not the point... The point is that I feel something..." I finished realizing I needed air. He was just looking at me as if I was telling him an interesting story.  

"was he with you in your room alone?" he clenched his jaw.  

"Yeah"  

"Did anything happen?" He said angrily. He is back to his overprotective self. 

"No pretty boy nothing happened." I said and looked away, avoiding eye contact with him. He was so mad that I could feel his eyes popping out!  

"So what do you mean by feelings? Hmm.. I mean.. Do you like him?" he said waiting for an answer, staring at me. I thought I should tell him, it would be better right? 

"Well, I'm not sure. There's something about him, that makes me want to know re about him... And the problem is I'm not sure about my feelings for him." I said shrugging. Suddenly he stood up taking his jacket. 

"where are you going?" I asked confused at his sudden change of attitude.  

"I need fresh air, that's all" he tried forcing a smile on to his lips, but failed. I'm sure he was lying. It was obvious I could tell.  

"Can I join?" I looked up at him smiling waiting for a yes answer.  

"No baby girl, I just need sometime alone. Don't leave I'll be back in 10 minutes."  

And he just left. There was something wrong, maybe something happened with his parents again? Or maybe it was his mystery gang? I just sat there staring at the window. What if he was mad at me? What if he hated me for what happened this morning... But nothing really happened.  

I wanted to ask him, I wanted to know ... why was he acting so weird?  

Half an hour passed, he didn't come. I tried calling his cell phone, but it was switched off.  

One hour. Nothing.  

Two hours. Nothing.  

It was 10:30 I got really worried, I went down to ask his mom. Maybe he told her where he went... I doubt that.  

I went down. his mom was watching T.V and his dad was on his laptop. I just stood there on the stair then I cleared my throat, they both snapped at me and gave me a confused look.  

"Sorry I was just wondering if you know where Blake is? He told me he'll be back in ten minutes but two hours passed.... and um-mm.. He's phone is also switched off" I said the last words too fast.  

"No sorry dear." his mom smiled at me and turned her head to the television.  

Kay that didn't go too well. I had to leave now, but I couldn't. What if he's gone out doing the usual $hit he does? What of something actually happens to him?!!

It was almost midnight, I text-ed him thirteen times, called him every five minutes. Called all his friends too... But none of them knew where he was. I could feel butterflies in my stomach, I felt sick. I wanted to scream. I started crying... just tears. I was sobbing like a small kid. I can't take it anymore. Worrying about him all the time... it's just too much!  

Where the hell was he!?  

All of a sudden the door swung open, and there he was.  

His eyes were red, he had a bottle in his hand, swinging unable to walk he fell on the floor. I couldn't move, my body was too numb. he looked at me puzzled, then shut his eyes. I stood up and went up to him. 

"Hey are you okay? What happened?" It wasn't exactly time for questions, but I guess it just slipped out of my mouth.  

"I-I waaaas outt CLUBBING!" he shouted at me, when he said it my whole body was wracking with anger. How could he? I was sitting here worrying about him and crying! And Calling him! I can't take it anymore this is just too much! 

"BLAKE SCREW YOU! YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS?!! WHY the hell did you switch off your phone!!? Why didn't you answer my texts!? What's gotten into you Blake!? I thought you were out doing drugs! Or I dunno hanging out WITH WHOEVER YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO HANG OUT WITH! I hate you Blake! I hate you!" 

"F*CK YOU!" I screamed slamming the door behind me. I went and sat in my car, crying my eyes out. For a second I regretted what I told him, obviously I didn't hate him. But I was mad him, really mad! How could he? He deserved every single word I said...

xxxxxx 

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