Ten of Me ✓

Twenty-Three

I received a reply from Noah in the form of a phone call when I was about five minutes away from home. Warily, I answered--he usually wasn't the type to make unnecessary phone calls.

"Hello?" I asked, my voice sounding too loud in the quiet neighborhood street. I switched my phone to my other ear so that I could bend down to retie one of my shoelaces. It wasn't even unknotted, but I felt desperate for something to do that didn't involve walking along that empty road with only Noah's voice to distract me from the mundane scenery.

"Nicole? Hey." It was Noah, and by the sounds of it he wasn't at Aroma Mocha. At least, I didn't hear the cheerful sounds of people chatting as they sipped coffee or the background music the café usually played. "Where are you?"

"Hopefully heading over to Aroma Mocha soon," I said, standing and continuing to walk. I already began brainstorming excuses if he offered to come over to my house instead of meeting me somewhere. "Where are you? You don't sound like you're at work."

He didn't even hesitate as he said, "I'm not. I've got the day off. But I'd love to hang out with you, and I can still meet you at Aroma Mocha in around fifteen minutes if you're cool with that."

"Sure." My house was in sight, and I jogged the last little bit of the way in order to reach my doorstep. "I've got to go. Bye."

Before he could say anything back, I hung up and headed up the porch steps.

It was hard for me to even talk to Noah after knowing everything he'd done to me, but I knew it was necessary. I couldn't let on that I was Hannah or that I even knew what had happened at the party--not yet. And in order to do that, I had to keep pretending that I was naive and that I was still madly in love with him while clueless that he was playing me.

He wasn't tricking me anymore; I knew who he was and that he had no feelings for me. But it was also hard for me to distance myself from him so suddenly, when I'd liked him for so long and when I'd thought he'd finally started to like me back. Maybe this was also a way to help myself pull away.

Dad wasn't in the family room anymore as I climbed the stairs and went into my bedroom, and it was all too easy to avoid him in our too-big house as I changed my clothes and contacts before going back outside. I didn't see Nicholas, either, and figured that he and my father were either in one of the rarely used spare rooms in our house or that they'd gone out for a little while. Dad had probably taken my little brother bowling; he loved playing the different arcade games.

I walked to Aroma Mocha instead of driving, because it would make me late for my date with Noah and because I wanted him to know that Nicole wasn't showing up. I wanted him to see that she was standing him up, and I wanted to see if there was any hurt on his face at the prospect of being rejected.

Before entering Aroma Mocha, I stopped in front of the window of Maya's Boutique to check my reflection. I looked nothing like myself, and I doubted Noah would ever notice who I was, either. Standing there and staring at myself as Lindsay, I began to question that I'd ever even been another girl, someone who had problems with her boyfriend, her parents, her friends, and even her little brother.

The bell to the coffee shop jingled as I slipped inside, my stride casual and my expression nonchalant. I immediately spotted Noah sitting at one of the high-top tables in the center of the shop; he looked out of place in the café wearing a t-shirt and jeans instead of his usual staff apron. My heart twisted as I saw him and I forced myself to keep my breaths calm as I went up to the counter and ordered an iced coffee.

When I turned around with my drink a few minutes later, I saw that his eyes were on me, but he was staring at me not as if I were someone he knew but simply as if he were appreciating my unique appearance. I caught his eye and smirked at him before weaving my way through the tables to approach him. The way I made myself look at him made me feel nauseous, but I didn't let myself turn away.