Author's note/warning:
The entire first paragraph is me ranting. If you want to get to the part where I'm suggesting an improvement, I suggest you skip down to the second paragraph. I'm practically insulting everyone reading this part and on Wattpad in general. If you think you can take the insults I throw out, good on you. You get a digital pat on the back from me. But just know that I may be overbearing to some people here but just know that this is kinda my outlet for unleashing my pent up anger. Anyways, enough of this boring author's note, get to the part you've been waiting for which may actually be my ranting. I've been told I'm hilarious when I'm worked up.
WARNING: RANTING IS BACK!!!! FEELINGS MAY BE HURT!!!!
WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED TO BRING THIS UP?! IT'S COMMON FUCKING KNOWLEDGE!!!!! GET ALL YOUR FUCKING ACTS TOGETHER AND WRITE PROPER FUCKING PARAGRAPHS!!!!!! I MEAN, COME ON!!!! WE'RE LECTURED ABOUT HOW TO DO THIS SHIT CORRECTLY FROM AS EARLY AS 2nd GRADE!!!! IT SHOULD NOT BE HARD TO REMEMBER!!!! YET HERE I AM TEACHING IGNORANT ASSHOLES, (All of you are beautiful people and I love you all. I am just really mad that people like acting lazy instead of properly writing stuff out) WHO ARE OF MIDDLE SCHOOL AND HIGH SCHOOL AGES, HOW TO WRITE A SIMPLE FUCKING PARAGRAPH!!!!!! IT IS NOT THAT HARD TO DO YET SOME PEOPLE LOVE MAKING IT SOUND/FEEL LIKE FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE!!!!!! PARAGRAPHS ARE PROBABLY THE EASIEST THINGS OF LITERATURE TO UNDERSTAND!!!!!! IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO WRITE A PARAGRAPH, DON'T WRITE A FUCKING STORY CAUSE CLEARLY YOUR NOT DEDICATED TO YOUR WRITING!!!!! QUICK MAKING IT SEEM LIKE A CHORE TO WRITE A SIMPLE PARAGRAPH AND DO IT PROPERLY YOU SHITHEADS!!!!
Now that I have gotten that out of my system, let me explain how to PROPERLY write a paragraph. Cause it clearly isn't being taught in schools anymore. (Everyone notice my sarcasm? If you did, cookies for you!) Paragraphs are an author's way to describe a scenery or describing a character's thoughts and/or actions. It's a helpful tool that is beneficial to a story's development and it gives exposition to the reader. A paragraph should be at a minimum of 5 sentences and at least a maximum of 10 sentences. Never more, never less. If it's dialogue, then you start a new paragraph from the previous one. I'll give an example at the end to ease confusion. Anyways, paragraphs are what really move stories forward. Without them, you'd just have a few pages instead of a full-scale book like you may have wanted. Another thing people have confusion on with this topic (*le sigh at the human race's stupidity*) is when to stop one paragraph and start a new one. It's probably the easiest thing about paragraphs to learn. You stop a paragraph when you stop describing something and you start a new one with a new subject. You don't jam 8 topics into one measly paragraph, it'll go on for ages! Also, never forget to indent your paragraphs. It helps people distinguish what's a new paragraph.
How to properly write a paragraph: This example is from one of my books and if I find it somewhere else in someone else's story, I will report you to Wattpad for copyright
I saw Percy and the rest of the Seven over by the entrance of New Rome fighting Gaea herself. From what I could tell, Percy and Annabeth were leading the attack while Jason and Piper acted as a backup of some kind; both were fighting monsters that were trying to defend their mistress. None of the monsters were really succeeding. The worst they've done is given both Jason and Piper scratches. Hazel and Frank were right next to Percy and Annabeth. Hazel was trying to make a prison of hard metal around Gaea while Frank was watching her back and keeping monsters off her as she concentrated. It was obvious she was running out of energy very quickly due to her slacking posture and paled face. But she was successful. Gaea was now frozen in place and unable to move.
(Yes I am a big nerd)
How to not write a paragraph
The dog chased Mrs. Geroso's cat, fluffy, up a tree. (I see this all the time in stories as supposed "paragraphs" and it pisses me off to the extreme)
Edit: 11/20/17 Just doing maintenance.
YOU ARE READING
How To Not Fuck Up Writing a Story In My Personal Opinion
HumorThis is advice for all of those wishing to write stories on Wattpad, or if your wishing to improve your writing. This is also me venting my personal frustrations at people who do everything listed here in their stories.
