Dauntless

Dauntless: Daddy Dearest (Part 5)

I leaned over the crib, watching the infant sleeping in his blue blankets. Camille had him wrapped up like a burrito, still wearing his little blue hat, his face scrunched in his sleep. It was late, I'd just gotten in, but I'd wanted to check on him before I went to bed.

It felt... weird.

Really, my day wasn't any different --- I left early, came back late, the same time every day. Now instead of just Camille greeting me with a nasty look or a sweet kiss, there's also screaming.

So, not too different.

The baby didn't stir much, just moved his mouth occasionally, made some baby sounds. At that moment, my kid was just a screaming, pooping bundle. He's only a week old, so I guessed it would be a while before he had any personality, did anything other then lay there.

I sighed as I straightened, seeing a few strands of dark hair against his forehead, curling upwards against the hat. His hair looked black like Camille's, but I was kind of hoping he kept my blue eyes; someone had said baby's eyes change colors after they get so old, but I hoped his didn't.

Kai.

I'm a little surprised Camille so readily accepted the name, maybe she was just glad I picked something. We'd been fighting over that the last few months longer then we had anything else. I was just glad all that stress was over.

I stepped away from the crib, silently leaving the room and leaving the door only cracked. I hesitantly popped my head into the bedroom, seeing Camille was safely tucked beneath the covers, sleeping soundly. I felt bad about leaving her with the baby all day, but one of us had to be out there working.

New initiates would be coming in soon, maybe another month, and by then Kai should be old enough to go to the daycare in the Pit. I'd take him there myself every day if I had to, if it made Camille feel better about leaving him. I guessed it was a mother thing, being so attached to the thing she carried for nine months.

I shut the door, grimacing. I'd let her sleep, I'd hear the baby if he started wailing.

So far, there'd been a few congratulations for the baby, a snarky message from Melanie, and Max had clapped me awkwardly on the back before moving on. Tori had been over to see it, Camille said, and Zeke.

It's weird.

I felt like everything had shifted, that now that I had a kid, I... well, I was stupid as fuck. I shouldn't be worried about the fact having a kid would fuck up my reputation, but I was. Melanie was right, anyway, turning down leading the op was seriously going to fuck me over, and I knew she kept hoping I'd change my mind any minute now and take it, leave Camille and the baby to their own devices.

It was tempting.

I sat down on the couch, leaning forward to unlace my boots. I needed to get back out there, remind everyone that I wasn't going to take their shit, that having that kid in my life wasn't going to make me soft. It seemed stupid, even to me, but that's still how I felt. I knew Camille still wasn't feeling well, she was ill and pretty bitchy right now, but she was trapped in the apartment all day with the kid.

She needed some time off.

Hell, maybe I could send her to lead the op --- that would give her something to do and... no, I didn't want to be left alone with the baby. I'd only held it a few times, mostly when Camille begged me too because she was exhausted. It's been a week and I doubted she'd gotten eight hours of sleep yet.

The thing cried all the time!

I leaned up, running a hand along my stubbled jaw. I hadn't had time to shave in days, everything seemed so out of sorts lately. I hadn't felt the need to jump ship and run off yet, so I guessed that was a good sign.