All I Ever Wanted (NARRY STORAN)

15. Fights

H A R R Y

I lie in bed, my fingers pressed to my lips as I replay the events of last night in my head.

Stupid stupid stupid. What the hell were you thinking Harry??

Simple— the urge to kiss him was too strong. So strong that even my brain agreed with my body for the first time in my life.

My feelings were all over the place. Annoyed, aggravated, infuriated at Mr Dickby and Mrs Coswell, hurt and disappointed in Chelsea, touched and comforted by Niall. At that moment, I just felt so so close to Niall. I just felt so loved, and I just felt like I needed to kiss him.

I groan in annoyance, hating how much I liked that kiss. Hating how I still want to relive that kiss, over and over again. And I shouldn't be feeling this way. I should be wanting to put that kiss behind us, forget about it because I can't bear to lose Niall and I's friendship over that kiss. But I don't want to. And I can't. I can't because it's constantly on replay on my head like a broken CD. But I really should forget about it right? I'm with Chelsea. Or well, was. What even happened to us? And I'm straight.. Right?

If so, why did I enjoy the kiss so much? Why was it so perfect despite how messy and sloppy it was? My lips and cheeks were wet with tears, Niall's were dry and chapped, teeth were busting each other's lip, tongues were sloppily and messily battling with one another. And I loved it. I loved every single fucking second of it.

And that's not the worse part. Zayn. I kissed Niall when he was with Zayn. I made Niall cheat on Zayn with me. And Zayn's one of my best mates. Fuck. I screwed up. I screwed up big fucking time.

But Niall kissed me back as well. Did he want it as much as I did? Did he like it as much as I did? For some strange reason, I can't help but to feel all jittery and warm at that thought itself. Niall kissed me back. So it isn't completely my fault as well right?

For fucks sake, Harry. You shouldn't even be thinking that it's partly Niall's fault. You kissed him when Niall was clearly taken. You initiated it.

I groan, tugging on my hair frustratedly. I probably just fucked up one of the best friendships in my life. All because of a kiss. A kiss that I thoroughly enjoyed, may I stress again.

I turn on my side, seeing that it's nearly one in the afternoon. As much as I want to see Niall and kiss the living daylights out of him again, I really can't bear to face Zayn and him. And I honestly feel like calling in sick tonight.

So that's what I did. I called in sick, saying I have a really bad diarrhoea. Thankfully Carl wasn't that pissy about it since it's a Monday night and the bar wouldn't be as crowded.

Call me a coward, I know that's what I am. I'm afraid of Niall ignoring me, I'm afraid of the guilt within me when I look at Zayn, I'm afraid of Zayn screaming, shouting at me for kissing his boyfriend, I'm afraid to see if Niall is mad at me, I'm afraid of things not being the same between us any more, I'm afraid to know if we're even still friends. I'm terrified.

I sigh, pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind and dragging myself out of bed.

I head straight to the bathroom, freshening up before heading towards my small kitchen, making myself a sandwich. Niall makes the best sandwiches. Ham, cheese, eggs, lettuce and tomatoes. Something so simple yet delicious. Kind of like Niall. Such a simple being, yet so lovely and wonderful.

I groan softly, pushing Niall out of my thoughts. It was just like that the entire night. The thought of Niall rushing through my mind, invading, taking over my mind. And to think that I would or should be thinking about Chelsea and I, but I wasn't. It was just Niall, Niall, Niall, all night long.