Every Bad Thing

Chapter Twenty-Nine

My heart feels heavy. My emotions were like anchor and it's pulling me down low. The rope were wrapped around my neck that I knew I'd end up choking up if I tried to fight it.

It was a few seconds later when my blurred vision finally cleared. I immediately saw Silas' handsome face. It shouts of exhaustion and gentleness. His eyes bore down on my face as I stare at him, waiting for him to say something or waiting for a wave of disappointment if ever this was a dream.

"Hi." he quietly said.

His voice was enough to make me emotional. My tears blurred. Mukhang walang kapaguran ang mga mata ko sa pag-iyak. I felt my lips quiver, I quickly bit it down.

"Don't cry, please." he croaked, his eyes were quickly filled with worry.

I shook my head even when I know I won't be able to stop it. I paused, trying to rein and take control of my own emotions. I couldn't.

"I was so worried..." the tears fell the moment I spoke. 

Silas inhaled sharply and pulled me to him. My face crashed to his chest. His familiar scent filled my nose. I breathed in, knowing how I won't be able to take a whip of it soon. Momentarily freeing my inhibitions, I allowed my arms to wrap around his body and hug him back. I gripped on his shirt, pulling him close but not close enough because holding on to him will only make it harder for me to let him go.

"It's okay, baby..." he whispered near my ear. My tears even more. I closed my eyes, hoping that would be enough to make the tears stop from spilling.

"It's not." I squeaked out. Everything is not okay. I wish I could pretend that it is... But I can't fool myself anymore. "I'm sorry."

"Please stop crying... It's scaring me, Laurene." fear couldn't be mistaken in his voice. He sounded unsure and helpless. 

"Bakit ka pa kasi nakipag-away? Why did you do it? You shouldn't have..." I was cut off with an involuntary inhale.

"I wanted to defend you. To protect you. And I'd do it again if I have to." he softly answered. His words didn't comfort me at all. It only made me want to bawl even more. "I-I love you."

My heart squeezed painfully. No... I should... I took a deep breath and slightly pushed him away. My eyes found his right away. He looked at me expectantly, waiting for what I was going to say or do next.

"Silas, I..." I started, but couldn't finish. His eyes remained on me. "We..."

He swiftly leaned in, cupped my cheek and planted a hard but tender kiss on me. He stayed like that until I felt him soften by the second. He moves his lips, pressing another shallow kiss on my lips. His heavy breath fanned my face as he inched his face away. I opened my eyes and he was already looking at me.

"I won't let you go, Laurene. No matter what." he gravely said.

I bit my lip, loss for words while my heart was spilling with different emotions. But I was more in pain than anything. The tears started falling again. Silas's eyes followed it as it fell down from my eyes and wiped it with his thumb. I closed my eyes and nodded.

SIlas tried his best to cheer me up. I tried to recover and put on a brave face and pretend that everything's back to normal again. Naging sensitibong topic na para sa aming dalawa ang tungkol sa gabing iyon. All I know is that the charges were dropped. That's what my twin told me. He volunteered the information. 

It's only been a few days since that night and the words are still haunting me, chasing me to wake up and face reality. The words were like knives pointed at my throat. This happens every time I'm alone and not preoccupied with something else. Hindi pa nakatulong na tahimik at konti lang ang ang tao dito sa library dahil library period ng section namin.