Burgundy Is The New Sexy

||Chapter 52||

M and I laid in bed comfortably. A peaceful yet content silence surrounding us. He was positioned on my chest, his face hidden in my bosom as I ran my fingers through his hair. Well the strands which were loose, after all, his hair was tied up in a rather lazy pony tail.

My other hand ran up and down his back creating a relaxing rhythm. One which lulled his body into peaceful oblivion as he softly let out short sighs of content. I knew this as his hot breath kept terrorizing my skin.

This position was rather great and oddly satisfying, but I could not keep my mind from playing back the events which had led us into this.

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"M, they will be shocked that you are not human yes, but they will never think you are a freak. If it is anything they will be intrigued. Plus, if anyone thinks that you're a freak or monster, at least you are my freak and monster and I love you." Both our eyes widen in shock.

Oh God! Please tell me I did not just tell M that I love him.

That thought ran through my mind as we both stood there staring at each other; eyes wide and mouths hanging open. I couldn't believe this. How could I let that slip? How could I bare myself to him in such a way? How could I make myself so vulnerable to him? Why was his tears and hurt my weakness? Why was he my weakness? Oh God.

M pulled away from me slowly. My body tensed even more. My lips wavering as tears pricked my eyes. He doesn't feel the same.

I bit my lip as I tried to hold in my sobs. How could I have ever thought that he felt that way about me? How could I have such false hope? I knew that I had a good reason to hold it in. I didn't want to force my feelings on him and make him feel obliged to love me back.

"M-M," I stuttered out as I flew up from the seat. I was going to try and take back what I said. I knew that was a rather foolish idea but I'd rather play it off as a joke. I would jist tel him that I was messing with him. It was obvious that my feelings were a shocker to him and he didn't feel the same way, so why what would be better idea than to deny it? Even though in both situations I would still get hurt, at least it would lower the chance of our moments being super awkward. If I have to hide my feelings in order to spend more quality time with M, I will do just that. "It-It wasn't suppose to come out like that." I let out. Even though I scold myself inwardly for saying something completely different from what I wanted to say.

He stood stock still over the sink, his back towards me. I couldn't help but tremble as tears streamed down my cheeks. I just had to ruin the moment. I just had to make everything awkward. Sometimes I feel as if I always ruin my relationships without even trying. It was either I was trying too hard or forcing my feelings onto the person.

I mustered up enough courage to walk over to him. Leaning onto his stiff back, running my hands up and down. "M, I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to come off as that. It-It was a j-joke." I said slowly.

"Was it really a joke?" He asked finally. His voice dark and hard. Chills ran up my spine. Why was he so cold? Was he turning into the dominant males who only marry for children and not for love? This is so embarrassing. I was forcing myself onto him ans he was not in the least looking for love. Or was it something else?

For the love of me I could not lie to him. I found myself spilling out everything. "No, it was not a joke. I meant every word, but if you do not feel the same way I- I'll stop. I mean I can hide it. I won't force it on to you. I swear M!" I was full out sobbing now as I slumped onto his back.