CAMBOY | PHAN AU

Only time can tell

song: a moment silence- idealism 

this song fits perfectly, especially for a certain part wahEYYY

===

Weekends away from work is always the biggest relief- it's a rarity if you single handily run a business. No planned meetings, no photoshoots and no worries.

Other than the dreaded text you have to send when trying to break from a tense situation. It's not every day that your employee calls you beautiful and it sends you over the edge.

Many times on that, deemed to be, blissful weekend I picked up my phone opening Phil's conversation only to stare blankly at my keyboard. See, I knew exactly what I wanted to ask him but was far too nervous to ask.

It was mere.

--But no. There is this rather inconvenient thing called epinephrine that happens to pump around my brain, pumping my blood in pure adrenaline. Fucking hormones man.

This was becoming too big of a reality for me to manage.

I was developing a horrible and rapid teen-like crush on Phil Lester. It had been growing and growing and now I can't pull the roots or find any bud to nip. I was truly stumped.

The day was moving on all too fast and I needed to ask relatively quickly or else I would have to be asking for dinner and that is too much for my newly-ruined mind to handle.

Daniel, suck it up. Text the man for fuck sake.

It had to be done. It had to be done. It had to be don-Oh fuck it's done.

Dan Howell:  Hey Phil. If you have some free time you want to kill, do you want to meet for coffee? 

Read 11.04am

Phil Lester: I would love that, honestly! Where do you want to meet because I'm just at the garden centre in SoHo, near Game :D

Dan Howell: [I'll drive to you x] Deleted 

Dan Howell: I'll drive to you

===

Parked in a bay near Game, I placed my parking ticket on the dashboard. This was the first time I truly was nervous with Phil. It was scary to think of all the conflicts we have been in due to my defences and he still cares for me, thinks about me, pays attention to me and even finds me beautiful.

Never had anyone affected me in this way. The more time I was spending with him, the less time I was even thinking about Graceffa. He had become a thing of the past and Paris felt so far away. My days were filled with blue eyes, light blushes and this man's odd sound of laughter. It was the way I wanted all my days to be.

Spotting Phil in the mirror I smiled fondly. It was a windy day and he was dressed in on of my designed jumpers with the extra layer of a clear rain-mac. He had not even noticed me parked there but I couldn't avert my eyes from the mirror as I watched him riffle through different seed packets outside, planter box in arms and heavy looking tote on his delicate shoulder. Everything about him was mesmerising all of a sudden. Even the way he moved had me struck with this feeling of amazement. How can one person this intricate exist? 

Composing myself, I tucked my scarf into my jacket as I tore my eyes from the reflection of this beautiful, beautiful man. I opened the car door, taking myself out and locking it behind me. ''Lester!'' I called, gaining his attention. ''Do you want to leave your shopping in the boot of my car?''