Already Gone

Chapter 43

I just want her.

Her and I in that boat, back to where I truly fell in love with her.

"She's gone Sky" My dad watches my reaction cautiously as if waiting for me to have a break down.

"She's gone" Saying those words left a bitter taste in my mouth.

I wanted to ask where did she go I bit my tongue to stop myself because I know if I find out where she is I wouldn't be able to help myself and fly over there. The restrain I have is so painful that all I want is to scream and break things.

"Can you do me a favor?" My voice shook no from sadness but rage.

"Of course anything" My dad's face filled with concern.

"Don't tell me where she is, no matter how much I beg for you to give me an address. For my sanity and hers don't tell me."

My dad looked me the same way he's been staring at me for the past weeks, ever since he saw me cry over Hailey convincing him that I'm still deeply in love with her. I see the puzzled look in his eyes trying his hardest to figure me out.

"Okay son I promise I won't" He spoke walking up to me and place his hand on my shoulder steering me out of her room. "Let's get a drink"

I nodded quickly in agreement.

It was in that moment I knew that alcohol will be the toxic thing I will turn to.

Four years later...

I let the bitter taste of bourbon roll in my tongue warming up my throat. I stared at the vanity where a single perfume bottle placed on it. I got up and smiled slightly walking up to it and lift it up bring up to my nose to smell. Memories of her came rushing back, as if they left in the first place.

I think of her every day and every night.

I always wonder what she's doing, if she's doing okay. What is she studying? Or did she study at all? Who is her new friends. Is she eating alright? Does she stay up late through the night like she use to? Did she find someone new that could treat her better then I could? Have she fallen in love? Most of all does she think about me the way I think about her too?

There is too many questions and it piles up every day creating a heavy feeling in my chest weighing me down.

The scent of vanilla and rose caused a calming feeling wash over me not even a whole bottle of alcohol can do. It's like having her in my arms again, my face buried on the crook of her neck. This scent always lingered on her clothes, her hair which transferred to my bed sheets. I miss my lips lingering her soft skin. I miss touching every inch of her and worshiping every bit of her body. I miss the way she arches her back while her head is thrown back leaning into my touch. I crave for every day that it began to ache.

I would stumble into a strangers bed and never kissing them but only the purpose of lust and frustration. Countless nights where a new girl is beneath me, I picture her and as sick and fucked up it is that's what I do. I don't let them kiss me not even on my neck but they weren't her.

Nobody could ever replace her and I can't forget her.

I lost count on how many times I rejected Jessica from trying to sleep with me but it seemed like she can't take the hint.

I sleep with other girls and she slept with guys just the same but in the spot light of social events and gatherings we are a happy couple.

I sighed deeply and walked out the bedroom seeing my mom walking down the hallway her smile brightened seeing me. She walked up to me and adjust my tie smiling adoringly at me making me chuckle slightly.