I Might Be (Boyxboy)

Returned

RETURNED

Dillan’s POV

It’s been a few days since I heard Tyler was admitted to the hospital, and I think that was enough time to give it. My fear was that I would come across as some stalker freak obsessed with him, so… I was basically trying to hide the truth.

I spent al these years trying to get my confidence back, but Tyler always left me as a pool of nerves and desperation—which smells awful.

You may not believe this, but I was returned.

Yup, at the age of fourteen, my parents put me up for adoption—which apparently is legal. My other was pregnant when she found out I was gay, and thought this was the perfect reason to save money. I mean, who would waste money raising a gay kid? That was just un-American.

That was sarcasm, of course.

For a moment, I actually bought that shit and threw away the receipt. I actually believed that I wasn’t worth having, that I just disgusted everyone around me. It was crazy how the night of the Graduation dance helped get over thing, how memories of Tyler did.

He was my best friend, and he never made me feel inferior. He shared his generosity and love of music with me; he made me feel so love. I literally thought just being next to him was enough for me, that his friendship was just the right amount of happiness to keep me going.

Lucky for me, Ms. Gloria found me. I barely stayed in the foster care system for a month before she chose me. I let her know straight up I was gay and she let me know straight up that she didn’t care. The main reason she adopted someone as old as me was because of Fay.

Fay was her youngest child, a three year old girl at the time. She fostered me so I could basically be a live-in babysitter; but she never made me feel like I wasn’t part of the family. A year past and she asked me if she could adopt me, and I said yes. I think that was the first day I called her mom.

She had a son in the military, Jax, and he was actually on leave right now. Gloria was divorced from her kids’ biological father—Mr. Jackson Fisher—but he came around often to visit the kids. Almost equally insane as my parents ditching me, Mr. Fisher took me in, too.

He said any child of Gloria was a part of his family. There was so much in this household, I had to escape for some fresh air.

That was how Alex came in.

He was my next door neighbor, and occasional fuck buddy. I told him that I was in no way interested in a relationship, and he agreed to my terms. We’ve probably been smashing each other for half a year now.

His family was… they were awful people.

They hated anyone who wasn’t white and born ‘in the good old USA’. They use to hate gays too until Alex came out, and then his father declared that their homophobia only included lesbians. As disgusting as their views were, they were a pretty tight family.

The Fishers were black and mom was born in France from Haitian parents. Needless to say, they clashed. They saw me as tainted since I lived under the same house as them, and offered to adopt me many times. My response was always the same:

Two middle fingers up and a ‘Fuck you’. They didn’t seem to get the message; to much incest in their bloodline, probably. They already had a football team, why were they trying to get one more kid?

I would have cut things out with Alex, but his dick is good. For half an hour, I’m able to forget about these feelings and just focus on sexual satisfaction.

He was okay personality wise, but I had no feelings for him. It would be easier if I did, if I could just focus on someone within reach, but the spark was not there. He was just good dick.

Maybe he just wasn’t my type. I mean, all the music he listens to has unintelligible screaming in it and he was pretty tall.

“Hey, Jax!” I called to him as I raced down the staircase. I could hear him grab his keys from upstairs. “Wait up!”

“What’s up, Meanie Pants?” He smiled at the doorway.

Meanie Pants was my alter ego; I actually produce music and DJ. With help from Jax and YouTube tutorials, I was able to find my own sound and create some pretty badass music.

It was all just a hobby, something to take up sometime.

“Are you trynna make mom find out? You know how she feels about musicians.”

Jax cleared his voice, ready to do his impersonation of mom. “You mean how all of ‘em are junkies with no where to piss?”

We both laughed, he always knew how to get her French accent right. “Yeah, so shut-up.”

Jax was awesome, but I did miss my biological siblings. It wasn’t like they were the ones to toss me out.

“Yeah, yeah. So what do you need, Dill Pickle?”

“Still don’t like that nickname.” I punched his arm. “I need a ride to the hospital.”

“Finally going to confess?”

“See, this is why I don’t tell you things.” I confided in Jax about my feelings for Tyler a long time ago; I had to talk to someone about it. He was always an advocate for #TeamDyler, but after I told him that he was now taken, he just wanted me to confess for my sake.

I rather wait until I actually had a shot.

“No, just a friendly visit.”

“Meow, meow.” He licked his hand and went back to meowing.

“Why are you making cat sounds?” I questioned, looking at him funny. it was hilarious to see a guy who looked as tough and muscular as him doing such kiddy things.

“Well, I’m trying to speak more of your language since you’re a pussy now.”

“Wow.” I laughed. “How long were you sitting on that?”

“A couple days.” He laughed with me. “But it’s your story to tell, pick when its cool for you.”

“Thanks for your permission, old wise one.” I bowed.

“Get in the dang car!” He ruffled my hair with his large hands.

“Stop messing the do.” I shook my head vigorously. “It’s hard to get it to look like a controlled mess.”

“Just shave it like me.”

“You had no choice, so stop acting like a stylist.”

*

“Charles?” I saw him leaving the room I was told Tyler was in.

“Dillan, my boy!” He gave me a quick hug, as surprised as me. “What are you doing here?”

“To see Tyler, like you, apparently.” I never knew they were close. “You guys hang out?”

“Yeah, he finally stepped out of his shell. I didn’t know you guys reconnected.”

“We bumped into each other a couple weeks ago.”

“Still in love with him?” He must have seen the confusion written on my face. “Chelsea told me.”

“That bitch—and don’t spit out a bunch of bull about her being a girl. If guys can be bitches, so can females.” Equality motherfucker.

I thought that she at least kept that part a secret. I also use to think that my biological mother would love me no matter what, but obviously my credibility was lacking.

So all this time he knew? Why didn’t he tell me, I could have used him for a lot of venting.

“Cool down.” He laughed. “I’m watching her just like you said. Ready to move on your word.”

“Yeah, thanks.” We fist bumped.

“Did you think about my offer?”

Charles offered me an internship at his dad’s music studio. His father was teaching him how to use run it, and he heard some of my music online. He felt that I could make some money there, but I never wanted to do this professionally. I always thought I would be something boring, like a teacher.

“My mom would probably say no.” I shook my head.

“Bro, this is a once in a lifetime thing. Not to mention, I’m really trying to get some points with my dad. He still treats me like a kid.”

I really wanted to help Charles, he was a good friend. Maybe I could work this to my favor. “Can I do it with Tyler?”

“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “He has a job.”

“Then offer him a better one. You know he’s a musical genius.”

“He’s not the same since middle school. It looks like he gave up everything but the saxophone.”

I scoffed. “He can revive his talent and work as a musician.”

“My dad would go insane. He hires Berkley alumni.” He twisted his lips. “Fine, but he gets paid minimum wage.”

“I owe you.”

“You always say that, but I’m always the one doing you favors.” He shook his head. “Well, I gotta head out. I’ll DM you the details.”

“Cool.”

Now that it was my turn to go in, I could feel my palm start to leak. What if his boyfriend was in there? I wouldn’t be able to deal with that awkwardness.

Today is the day that I solve this unrequited love.

Or at least start to.