ANXIETY (𝘫𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘯𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘺)

Chapter 10

But when I looked back to him he wasn't glaring anymore, just looked sad. I walked over and grabbed his suitcase. "Come on, I'll take this to your room."

He looked sort of pleased, and somewhat...relieved? "Thanks Johnny, but I ain't helpless you know. I could have gotten it."

I laughed. "Of course I know that. I want to help you."

We got to his room and I set it down. He was staring at me for some reason. "What?" I asked, feeling self conscious.

He shyly walked closer and wrapped his arms around me tightly, crying. I was a bit stunned at first, but hugged him back.

One hand was in his hair as the other rubbed his back. "Shh...why're ya crying Ponyboy?"

"M-missed you. Missed this."

I moved to sit down on the bed and he wrapped his legs around my waist and buried his head in my shoulder.

I swear on my life that we didn't let go of each other for nearly an hour. Just sat there, holding onto one another.

"Johnny..." he whispered after the long silence.

I pulled him closer somehow. "Yeah?"

He sniffed, and then laughed for a second. "You got anymore notes?"

I kissed his temple and nodded, pulling away from him. "It's downstairs, I'll be right back."

I walked into the living room and everyone was looking at me. "Y'all have been in there for a while." Darry laughed while reading the newspaper.

I rubbed the back of my neck and blushed. "Have we?"

"Yep." Two-bit grinned. "What were y'all doing?"

I reached into the pocket of my jeans jacket that was hanging on the coat rack. "Just spending time with each other."

I quickly grabbed the note and walked back to Pony and Soda's room.

Pony was laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling with a small smile on his lips.

I laughed. "That place must have worked good. I don't think I've seen you smile this much in a long time."

He nodded. "It wasn't really the place that helped, more like the people there. Like Jeffy. He's one of my best friends now."

I swallowed. "O-oh. What's he like?"

Pony smiled. "Good to talk to, he likes reading almost more than I do, and he's really sweet. Gave me lots of advice on..." he looked up at me and shook his head. "Er, nothing."

I looked down. Of course Pony would like him more than me. They've got a lot more in common. It only makes sense. "W-well now I feel silly giving you this note." I said and hid it behind my back a bit.

He furrowed his brows. "Why?"

"I signed it as 'your best friend'."

"I'm confused..." he said after a second. "Are we not best friends?"

I clenched my fist lightly. "You said Jeffy was your new one."

"No I didn't, I said he was one of my best friends, not my absolute very best friend." He said defensively.

I sighed, not wanting to argue anymore. "Well, here you go."

He eagerly took the note and began reading it.

Ponyboy,
Boy I sure did miss you this week. The gang keeps teasing me because every time I talk it's usually about something that involves you. I don't mind though. You make me happy.
Your best friend,
Johnny

He looked up and smiled. "I make you happy?"

I shyly nodded.

"You make me happy too." He put his hand on my shoulder.

I sighed. "Not as happy as Jeffy makes you."

"Johnny..." he frowned and I looked away.

"I-it's fine. Really I'm okay." I wasn't okay.

Pony stared at me. "Johnny no one could ever replace you. I mean, you've always been by my side. You've stood with me through thick and thin. I just love you so..." his eyes widened. "I love you a lot man. You're my best friend. You always will be."

I frowned a bit at getting friend zoned (again), but it's better than not being friends at all I guess. I sighed. "Always?"

He nodded. "Always."

That made me smile, and realize that I wasn't really being fair to Pony. He was just excited about making a friend. "Maybe I could meet Jeffy sometime?"

He grinned. "Yeah, I know he'd like that. He really wants to meet you."

I was a bit shocked. "Me?"

Pony laughed. "I may have talked about you a bit."

The shock didn't ware off. I didn't expect him to talk about me at all. I smiled at him. "You know I really did miss you."

"I missed you too. A lot."

I felt my heart start beating extremely fast, and I wasn't exactly thinking straight.

"I-I have another n-note t-t-to hive you." I was breathing heavily.

"You do?" He asked hopefully.

No way of getting out of it now. "Just give me a second."

I went downstairs and quickly wrote a new one. I already knew what I was gonna say. I had been thinking about this note since I started giving them.

Ponyboy,
Friend. I hate that word. I hate being your friend, because I want to be so much more. I'm in love with you Ponyboy. Crazy, huh? Go back to all the other notes and read the first word of each.
Johnny

When I gave it to him, I quickly left the room, afraid of his reaction.

You don't have to go back in the story and read all the notes, I did that for you. All the notes are in the next chapter.