ANXIETY (𝘫𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘯𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘺)

Chapter 8

Status: edited

Johnny's P.o.V.

"Don't say that. Don't ever say that about yourself."

I held the crying boy tightly.

"But i-i-it's true!" Ponyboy wailed. "I'm a terrible person!"

"How could you ever say that Pony? You're amazing." I tried to reason with him, but nothing seemed to be working.

All I had asked was if he had his eye on someone. I didn't expect him to get so upset.

His eyes widened when I asked and he began stammering that the person he loved would never love him back, and then when I tried to tell him he was great and any girl would be lucky to have him, this happened.

"No I'm not!" He yelled angrily. "I am not amazing!"

I could tell he actually believed that. He wasn't just trying to get my pity, he truly didn't think he was great.

"I'm terrible! All I ever do is cry, or whine, or annoy people. I can't ever do anything right! I'm even in love with someone who would never like me back because I'm so awful."

My heart sank. He's in love. Of course he is, what did I expect? It couldn't always just be us forever.

He had began to calm down some, his sobs quieting down to just small whimpers. "I wish I was dead." He mumbled and I gasped.

"Pony stop talking like that!" I yelled.

He pulled away from me. "Well I do! I want to end it all!"

My eyes widened. "What about your promise to me?"

Pony pushed me away. "I don't care about it anymore. You'd want me dead if you found out." He curled up in a ball.

"Find out about what?" I asked desperately. Did he not realize that I could never want him dead?

He looked up at me, anger in his eyes. "Go away." He breathed.

That hurt. "W-what?"

He stood up, trying the best he could to keep it together. "I said go away! Leave me alone! Please!"

I stared at him in disbelief, before nodding and leaving the room.

I stumbled into the living room and collapsed on the couch. I knew what I had to do, even if I really didn't want to do it.

The rest of the gang was there, all stuck in their own little worlds.

Sodapop eyed me curiously. "You alright there, Johnny? We heard Ponyboy yelling. Did you and him get into a fight or something?"

I looked into his eyes and frowned. He had no idea about his brother.

Sighing, I stood up. "Darry, Soda, I-I gotta speak to y'all alone." My voice only wavered once.

They raised an eyebrow, but followed me into the kitchen.

"Is everything okay?" Darry asked, worriedly.