Pretending (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction)

Chapter 68: Him

*FLASHBACK*

She stood up and without a doubt, enveloped me to a tight hug. I could hear her light sobs, as her chest vibrated through my arms. I was raging mad, but within a matter of seconds I found myself hugging her back. I completely don't understand what I'm doing, but at the same time, I couldn't control myself.

She gently pulled away, her crying eyes looked at me again.

"I came back here not only because I've missed you. I'm afraid, Calum. I thought that maybe if I run away and hide from everything I would be okay, but nothing happened. Depression is eating me up, and I don't know what to do anymore. My parents are both too busy with their work that they don't have any time for me anymore. I have no one to talk to. No one, except you."

She closed her eyes as the tears kept streaming down her face. I held her wrist and she started writhing in pain. When I turned to look at it, I saw scars and cuts. My heart broke.

"Madi I," I stuttered, "No."

She buried her face in my chest and hugged me tighter. I wrapped my arms around her in return, resting my head on hers.

"Stop hurting yourself." I uttered.

She moved closer and placed her hands in my cheeks, making our eyes meet once again.

"I came back because I need to be strong." She uttered, sadness evident in her tone. "I came back because I need you back, Calum. Please take me back."

"I won't leave you." I replied.

And before I could knew what was about to happen, our lips met, and I found myself responding to her kisses.

And then it hit me. I kept kissing her, with my eyes tightly shut. Memories started flooding back inside my mind, including the sight of the pink tips that I fell in love with. From the very first moment that I bumped into her at the hall way, up to the very last second I saw her walking out of my front door moments ago. I can hear her musical laughing ringing repeatedly inside my ears. I can see her smile, her light chuckles as it send shivers down my spine. I can see her gray eyes looking straightly into mine, even though my eyes are closed. I can feel her presence, even if she's not around. I can feel her touch, I can hear her voice. I can her saying 'I love you', that took a straight strong shot of guilt in my heart.

I pulled away. "I can't."

She looked at me and met eyes once again, pity and pain evident on her eyes. I want to look away but she won't let me, as she held both of hands tightly as she could ever manage. Tears started forming into her blue eyes, not even taking a second to make it stream down her face. She looked down, and started sobbing.

I wanted to let go from her tight grip on my hands but she won't let me. I feel like I wasn't even giving too much strength, or she was just strong enough to grip my hands tightly. She kept crying hard, and I was left with nothing but to just look at her. I was completely lost, not having any idea what to do. I don't understand what has gotten into her.

"Calum," She started speaking again, trying to sound clearly enough for me to hear. She couldn't stop crying, and her voice is still breaking. Somehow, it saddens me. But I don't understand.

"I need you." She added and looked at me. "I need you back."

Confusion clouded up my mind. I am starting not to know what I should feel about the whole situation. I want to get mad, but as much as I can, I'm trying to understand. But it's getting worse as it seems.

I am being forced to do something that I know I should not.

And I know I could not.

"I'm in love with Kristen." I spat out. This time, I was successful to let go from her hands.