Pretending (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction)

Chapter 67: Him

"So where are we going?" Madison started speaking, startling me.

"Uhm," I said, getting lost for words. "You choose."

She pulled a smile and grabbed my hand. "Take me to one of your favorite places."

And by that, I started igniting my car, resting my back flatly on the driver seat and started driving.

I feel like I am not myself. I keep staring blankly at nothing, thinking about what would just pop out of my mind which is absolutely just one particular person. I keep ignoring it every single time it would come out of my mind, but I just can't seem to fight it. I'm always caught up with my own thoughts, that I couldn't seem to be bothered by anything or anyone anymore. I keep saying that I'm alright and perfectly fine, when in all honesty, I feel like I am not.

"Thinking too much?" Madison chirped, making me pull out a small smile.

"Just focusing on the road, that's all." I lied.

I focused my eyes on the road as I drive, but I watched her closely on my peripheral vision. I held the steering wheel with both of my hands, having the need to keep both of them with me. She took out her phone and popped a gum on her mouth as she started scrolling down at something. She would laugh in a very petite way about something, as she keeps her back rested straightly and flatly on her seat every minute. She settled with a maroon dress and black wedges in about two and a half inches high, with her hair up in a curly ponytail. Her make up is elegant and sophisticated as per usual. She looks so stunning, yet I couldn't stop being uncomfortable. This wasn't like her before. All these make up and dresses and shoes and everything wasn't even in her list of being her before. She always settled with a dress that didn't show off too much of her skin, and shoes that won't make her feet swell. I couldn't stop looking at her from my side, but it wasn't that look that I am being captivated by her appearance. This isn't the Madison Carter I fell in love with.

I kept glancing secretly at her as much as I could manage in every minute. She wouldn't even look up from what's keeping her busy on her phone. She couldn't even take the hint; I want her to do something. I want her to watch everything go by as we drive to where we're going. I want to see an amused smile stuck on her face as she watch the cars we pass by. I want her to roll down the windows of my car on her side without even asking for my permission. I want her to feel the air with her hands out of the windows as we drive around. I want to see her closing her eyes as she feels the wind, making comfortable and relaxed. I want her to start rummaging for a song on my set of album that I always keep on my car. I want her to control the radio, and select songs for us to listen to. I want her to scream and shout lyrics out with me as we sing along next to the song that we're listening to. I want her to take pictures of us no matter if we're looking or not. I want her to glance at me with a smile in any possible way she could. I want her to make me laugh, or even just smile. I want her to do all those things, but it seems that she's not even interested about anything. She remained looking down, smiling and laughing in a very girlish way as she scroll down continuously at her precious phone.

I didn't wait for her to move even just a nerve anymore. I turned on the radio and waited for a random song to play. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel as I wait. Suddenly, a familiar song came on. A smiled automatically formed in my lips.

"Got a wife and kids at Baltimore jack
I went out for a ride and I never went back
Like a river that don't know where it's flowing
I took a wrong turn and I just kept going..."

I remained smiling, my eyes still glued on the road. I tapped my fingers next to the beat as I silently sing a long next to the song. I still remember every single thing. How can I even forget about it? It was probably one of my favorite memories in my whole life. Even if things changed, and still changing, it will always be inside my head. Memories like that make me happy. Happy because I was able to do something like that. I have always thought it would be completely lame, but it was absolutely and undeniably amazing. I sighed lightly as the songs keeps going. I know I miss it. I miss it so much.