Food Satisfaction-An Extremely Weird Phanfiction

A Minor Inconvenience

"Oh my God Dan!" I shriek in an irritated voice, "Stop moaning!"
"It's just so good." Dan groans in an orgasmic manner.
"I didn't even know you liked soup so much. I have half a mind to take it away from you."
I am annoyed. It is fine when Dan exaggerates his pleasure for the viewers satisfaction, but normal people just don't react to soup this way. It is a fine testament to my cooking skills, but it is really affecting me in an uncomfortable way.
"If I knew you could cook this well, I wouldn't order pizza so often." Dan moans a few more times before I excuse myself to 'take care of some business.'
Why does he have to be so damn cute. I smash my head against my desk. Life sucks.
I go back into the lounge room around an hour later, feeling calmer, only to find a snacking Howell laying on the couch. I sit beside him.
"Buffy?" He nods and I switch on the TV, displaying a rerun of 'Passion.'
"Oh, this episode makes me want to cry." He confesses.
I smile deviously at him. I can almost see the regret on his face.
"Don't cry," His lips silently form the words 'oh no', "craft." I finish. He frowns.
"You had to, didn't you?"
"Yep!" He mentally slaps me.
That's when he opens up the Maltesers. I mentally slap him.
"Want one?"
"No thanks," I prepare myself for what is to come. He grabs a Malteser out of the packet. He lifts his hand towards his mouth.
A loud banging interrupts him and he lowers his hand. He gets up and walks towards the door, hesitating before twisting the knob.
The door swings open to a bedraggled PJ.