My Lover | Damie

Chapter 1

DAKOTA POV;

As my driver pulls up to set, I find myself thinking back on that night months ago out on the street with Jamie. His confession, the way it felt when he kissed me.... The emotions are still fresh in my mind and heart, even now just the memory sends chills through my bones. I haven't seen him since then, but he's called me so many times I've lost count. I never answer, but I've listened to every message he's given me. I just don't want to talk to him. This whole situation between us has left our relationship strained and I'm not sure if it's going to be fixed. He's apologized multiple times, although I feel like the one who should be apologizing. I should've known what was going on way before the night he told me. He was always ridiculously sweet with me and always quick to compliment me. I should have realized he was starting to get feelings for me and that it wasn't just me feeling that way. I should have stopped it before it ever got the chance to get this far. I feel horrible about all of it and I know Jamie does too. Him and Amelia are getting a divorce, he told me in one of his messages, but as far as I know it has yet to be finalized. I feel like a horrible dirty home wrecker. I should be apologizing to poor Amelia. She's the one who's pregnant with his baby and probably nearing her due date any day now. I feel wrecked with guilt at my part in all of this and I swear the shame could eat me alive. I'm thankful Jamie and I won't have to film together on our first day back because we get to knock out the separate scenes first.  No one on set has heard about the problem doing on between us and I want to keep it that way.

I've just finished my last scene when Foley approaches me outside my trailer. "Hey Dakota, can you go check on Jamie? He hasn't came out of his trailer since lunch and he's still got some scenes to shoot." Shit! I thought I'd be able to get through this entire day without seeing Jamie, but it would appear not. I suppose nothing has gone as plan lately though. I should learn to be better prepared. I nod and speed walk the distance to Jamie's trailer to get him. I knock on the door of his trailer and yell his name, but I get no response. I try it again, this time knocking harder and yelling louder, but still nothing. "Dammit, Jamie." I mumble to myself, opening up the door myself and walking on in. "Jamie! What the fuck?" I scream, when I see him sitting on the floor, bottle of whiskey in hand. "Good Morning, Dakota." He slurs, taking another drink. Good, god how drunk is he? Its not even morning anymore for fucks sake. Has he been drinking all day? "Why are you on the floor?" I ask, still yelling everything I say at him. "Uh...I can't get up." He mumbles, starting to laugh, but he stops when he notices I'm not laughing with him. "Geez, Dakota, why are you even in here? I thought you were ignoring me." I roll my eyes and grab his arm, trying to pull him up. "Well your job sure as shit isn't ignoring you so get your drunk ass up!" He's too heavy for me to pick up, but I still yank on his arm desperately trying to get him upright. "Mm....I think I'm going to throw up." He mumbles, turning his head to the side. My anger turns to concern as I help him to the toilet and try not to watch as he throws up rather aggressively into it. Fuck! Jamie! Why would he do this to himself? I need answers and I certainly can't get them from him like this. I quickly make up an excuse to tell the crew about him being sick with a stomach bug, then I rush him to my apartment, hoping no one will see him in this drunken state.

The smell of coffee fills my apartment as Jamie sits at the table nearly passed out with his head in his hands. I've got to get him some coffee and fast. He needs to sober up. I set a mug in front of him and take a seat in the chair across from his. "Drink up." I say, with a smile, as he sits up and glares at me. He sips his coffee and slowly I see that he starts to sober up and come back to attention. "Feeling better?" I question and he nods. "So, you wanna tell me why you would get drunk like that at work of all places?" I ask. "Amelia and I's divorce was finalized today." He looks me dead in the eyes, his face showing no emotion. Oh, Jamie! My heart aches for him. "And Dulcie?" I stutter out her name, feeling tears prick in my eyes. "We have joined custody. It'll be the same with our other daughter once she's born." He takes another drink of his coffee and I stare down at the table. "It's all my fault." I whisper, my voice cracking as tears drip down my cheeks. Suddenly he sits up in his seat and places his hands on mine. "No. You didn't do this, Dakota. I did. It was all me. Amelia and I drifted away on our own and that had nothing to do with you. Every mistake I made with Amelia was my fault. Not yours." His eyes burn into mine with sincerity and even though I know what he's saying is true, I can't help the feeling of gut wrenching guilt that still lingers. I can only hope that someday Amelia and I can be friends again and that someday I'll be able to hold little Dulcie in my arms and not feel guilty for breaking up her parents. I know how hard it is for children when their parents get divorced. At least I know how I felt when my parents did, although I was much older than Dulcie so I'm sure it'll be different for her. I wipe my tears away and look up into Jamie's eyes. He looks at me with that same loving look he had when he confessed his love for me and my heart flutters in that strange way it always does with him. Are we going to be together now? Part of me wants to ask but I'm not sure I want to know the answer. He hasn't brought it up yet and now isn't a very good time for me to ask. It's all just so confusing trying to figure out where we go from here, but I have hope we'll figure it out. When Jamie goes to leave I give him a hug as usual, then I give him a quick kiss on the cheek. That'll have to be enough to hold us over until we figure this mess out.

Authors Note; sorry I was so late with the update but I've got it now and I hope you like it