Limits [BoyXBoy] [UNFINISHED/CANCELLED]

.:7:.

I don't speak German and I did my best in searching up some words for this chapter, but they're probably wrong so, if anyone here speaks German, please correct me, thanks

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I found that Kellin was very comforting to be around. He always knew what to say; his mere presence made everything seem so much less daunting; he was a walking ray of sunshine. Having no contact with my parents of brother and being away from our group, this one boy was the highlight of my life now and I vowed to keep him safe.

We had travelled through the fallen city, coming across more dead than alive people. By the time we had made our way through the entirety of the place, we found ourselves in yet another bare area. This time no forests, just fields. Kellin and I were constantly on the lookout for roadsigns or posters to indicate whether we were still in Germany and going the right way.

Something I found extremely bizarre was how little either of us - or anyone, really - truly knew about what was going on. All we knew of the war was how it had begun: Hitler had decided to invade Poland and it all went downhill from there. However, no newspaper ever explained the motives behind any of this. Clearly, nothing could justify such horrendous actions, but just knowing why all of this was happening would have probably made it much easier and safer for us. If we were aware of what was going on inside of Germany and the media did not try to cover everything up, we would know what to avoid and where to go, but we were clueless - left to figure it all out by ourselves.

Walking through the fields was refreshing with Kellin by my side. He was very talkative and, even if we were silent, he still found ways to make it interesting. There were many flowers below our feet and the boy was rapidly pointing them out and naming every single one, which he had learned from his mother who grew the wildest of plants. The boy's rambling was always a nice distraction.

"Is your shoulder okay?" Kellin asked all of a sudden, stopping to let me catch up as I had been walking behind him. Whilst trying to get through the city, which was completely in ruins, we were caught up in a couple of shootouts. During one of them, a bullet hit my shoulder - it did not embed itself in my skin as it touched the edge of my shoulder, but it ripped through a good few layers of skin and I bled quite a bit. I was not too worried about it, as it did not hurt but just stung, and did not seem to be oozing the red liquid anymore. I was more fussed about my clothes getting ripped.

"Yeah, it's fine. Bloody stings though," I muttered. Kellin walked up next to me and, as we continued moving, he took my upper arm and examined it closely while his other hand tangled with mine to keep it in place. The bandages on my shoulder were red, but dry by now. The boy's closeness made me feel warm on the inside.

"Maybe when we get to a normal town, which is not completely destroyed, we'll be able to find something to treat it better," Kellin suggested. Even though he had finished examining my arm, he still kept his fingers entwined with my own and I took a lot of notice of it. I could feel my cheeks becoming red, but luckily Kellin was too busy looking out at the fields to catch me dreamily gazing down at our joined hands.

"I would not be too 'opeful. The civilians prob'ly want to 'elp us jus' as much as the soldiers," I said, being the realistic one of the two of us. "But it don't matter, we can jus' take it from 'em by force."

"You mean we'd steal from them?" Kellin asked in a small voice. I could feel his hand wanting to slip out of my own, so I just held it tighter. "But that's wrong, it's a sin."

"So is killin' people. Does that mean everyone out 'ere - even those fighting for what is right - is goin' to hell?" I challenged.

With all the time I had to spare, I found myself debating philosophical questions such as that one. There was this constant inner conflict of which option was better: killing more people or just giving up and letting myself be killed, in order to not cause more destruction. However what always stopped me from choosing the latter was that I was doing all of these unholy things for the greater good. Many people had died by my hand and I wished they had not. I wished that I never had to kill anyone, but those people were tyrants and something had to be done about them. God was the only one who could decide whether I went to heaven or hell, and I hoped that he would see the positive intentions behind my actions.