Diva (Urban)

Contingency

Diva's POV

    A week past and Lee's family were busy with funeral reservations. They had decided to have Brandy cremated.

    I felt weird. Donte was out somewhere and I was all alone again.

    I still hadn't told Lee that I was pregnant and I was feeling mighty guilty about that.

    I just didn't want to weigh more shit on my girl.

She hadn't called or texted at all since that day. I drove by her house a few days ago and she only said a few words before she shut me out and told me to leave.

The only person I felt like talking to was...Xavier.

I stared at my iPhone 5 and scrolled through the recent calls. There was his number. Hadn't even saved it in my phone.

I knew it wasn't right to just up and call a guy that I was practically forbidden to even think about. But I didn't have anyone right now to vent to.

I clicked the number and waited for an answer while the phone rang. And then a "hello".

"Diva?"

"Yeah. Yeah."

"You know, I'm actually pissed at you. I don't think I wanna-"

"Xavier! Listen, I wanna meet."

"...Now? Serious?"

"Yes."

"After you basically ignored me for two weeks?"

"I know. I told you that I already have a boyfriend. I just wanna talk."

"Fine..."

"Your house?"

"Yeah. I'll text you the address."

An hour later, I was knocking on Xavier's door.

His house looked nice from the outside. Small trees lined the rocky path to the front porch and rosebushes grew on the side of the house.

    In Levi jeans, a plain white shirt, and Vans sneakers, Xavier opened the door and grinned. Damn, he was pretty attractive.

    But he lived thirty minutes away; too far for me.

    His chiseled features flexed as he said, "Hey, come in." I could see a tattoo of a heart and cross on his neck.

    I sat down on the black, leather sectional and examined my surroundings. A bottle of wine stood high on the counter. "That for me?" I asked half serious and half joking. "No, my parents are celebrating their anniversary and left it there. They'll be gone for two days."

    "Oh..."

    There was an antique French iron cushion mirror on the teal-colored wall. The rug was a beautiful boucle sisal. Linen curtains lined every window which gave the room a vibrant, orange glow from the sunlight.

    His home was absolutely beautiful. And he was only eighteen, a year younger than Donte. Even though he wasn't as wealthy as Donte, he was still doing it big and I sensed it was because of his father and those watches making big money.

    "Uh, what did you wanna speak about?" Xavier rubbed his hands together and settled himself on the brown recliner. "This nigga is living the life," I thought.

    I traced the stitching in the couch and stared at my manicured fingers as they made a straight line down the side of the couch and back up again.

"I've been having problems lately. If I tell you this, will you hate me?"

"I could never hate you." He reasoned. I felt instantly better. "I'm pregnant and my friend's sister died and she won't speak to me. And-" I stopped when I was about to start talking about Donte.

That was not much of his business.

"Your friend's sister died? That's rough, man. And-And you're pregnant? You're lying." Xavier chuckled nervously. I don't know why he was repeating something that I just said.

"Swear. I'm getting my sonogram in a week. I'll send you a photo."

"No, I'm cool. Hey, you want some Kool-Aid or somethin'?"

"Naw, that ain't right for my child. You know, I always wanted a kid. Donte didn't, but I did."

Xavier looked at me affectionately. I could tell he was turned on because I was wearing Christian Louboutin heels, a Uniqlo sweater with a matching Marc Jacobs purse, and H&M skinny jeans. Topped it off with Dior makeup and a Chanel bracelet.

"I want kids too. But I need a girl..." He said nervously. I could tell he was hiding something.

"I thought you said you have one." I said curiously, remembering how we agreed that dating was not an option because we had lovers.

"We broke up a while ago. She cheated on me."

"I'm sorry to hear that." I told him. I moved closer to him and rubbed his back. He was hunched over; but not sobbing.

We locked eyes for what felt like a trillion years. It felt so good all the while feeling so awkward. Xavier lived with his parents and I would have had to too if it wasn't for Donte.

So I couldn't betray him like this. But hell, I was betraying him just by being in another guy's house!

But temptation got me before regret sunk in because before I knew it, our lips were locked. The room spun around.

It seemed like the glass clock on the wall stopped ticking.

Felt like all the drama in my life finally melted away.

His lips tasted sweet, like honey. I longed for his touch but decided against it. We stayed there, our mouths pressed up against each other's for what felt like an hour.

And then we both pulled away and blushed.

See, here I was being a hypocrite.

I didn't want Donte to cheat but I was cheating!

I shook my head and grabbed my purse. Xavier stood up abruptly. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I-I can't believe I just did that." I ran out of his house and hopped into my car feeling a whole round of pain and demur attack me. I was the epitome of sick, rotten, shit.

I smacked the wheel and after a while of just crying, I pulled into the local playground parking lot. A few kids swung on swings.

I yearned to be young again. Kids had it the easy way. Homework and and little boys were like paradise in my world. I didn't want to pay bills (even though I never did), to worry about whether Donte was going to be home, to pretend that everything was alright when I was practically sticking it out for myself and my baby while my supposed boyfriend was out doing it big in the streets.

I sat on a bench and just thought, "What in the name of the Lord am I gonna do?" I got my ass into deep shit by kissing him. I was slipping like never before.

And I wasn't going to let it happen again.