Project: Karma

30 | Dearest Ambitions

<Karma>
When I moved towards her. She flinched.

"S-sorry." Nagisa awkwardly retreated and look away. "Sorry." She apologized again.

"It's fine." I put my arm back down and waited. "How about we go?" I suggested. "Away from the crowds."

She nodded her head.
"Yeah, I think that's a good idea."

We walked along side each other and had broken our grasp beforehand. I wanted to reach for her hand again. But I restricted myself from doing so. I kept my distance for the most part until she wanted to talk again.

It wasn't long before I realized that Nagisa could be thinking about a guy. I remember the man I had seen before. The baseball jersey. Everything went down hill once Nagisa watched the game. Was it him? What relations do they have? Are those two possibly-

"If you don't mind. Can we visit someplace together?" Nagisa asked. "Just a quick stop?"

"Sure." I nodded but I didn't understand why she needed my permission or the fact that she emphasized together when. It was already implied.

"Thanks." A slight smile appeared on her face and she intertwined her hands with mine again. "Let's go then."

"Of course." I gleamed back.
•••••••
<Nagisa>
Maybe this is a bad idea but I need to go back at least once. Just so I can remind myself of who I was, my memories here and what I am now. All my emotions are jumbled up definitely in flames and out of control.

We took the bus and rode into my old neighborhood. The house that I grew up in. The demons den. A place that I had escaped from. My conscience is questioning why I even came back. My heart feels it. The emptiness that I left behind.
Who knew that the place that I hated the most, gave a sense of pleasure at heart? The calm and repose. I felt nostalgic.

"Is this your old house?" Karma looked up and down the streets.

"Yes." I spoke.

"Do you miss it?"

I shook my head.
"Not necessarily miss it." I tried to explain, "it's something different."

Karma took my word for it.

While I found myself stuck in a quick sand of old memories. I heard a car coming by. The same car that my mom owned.

"Karma. Come with me."

I took him away from the house and behind a thick tree on the side walk across from the house.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Shhh. Just wait." I hushed him.

My mom emerged from the car and shut the door behind her. The emotionless mask that sat on her face. The tiredness I saw in that gaze.

"That's my mom." I revealed to Karma.

"Hmm, I can see the resemblance. Are you going to visit her? It's been some time hasn't it?"

I glanced over at Karma. Was it wrong to just leave without a word? Was I being a good child if I were see her? Rather the beast who never looked my way? What would happen?

"No, I won't." I rejected that idea. "It's better this way anyways."

"Are you sure? She's your mother, isn't she?"

Yes. You're right. She is. However, she's never gained that motherly title from me. Our blood connects us, her heart and mine are completely different.

"Sometimes, it's better if the changed never reunites with those who choose to stay stuck." I said to Karma as he knew what spoke of.

Before I knew it. I found it darkening, to allow myself in the house of such bad upbringing.
I left it. All behind me again.
••••••
<Karma>
Once the clock struck 8pm, Nagisa took me out to the night festival in the neighboring town. The high schools collaboration on events for the town, sponsored by their school.

Nagisa had told me that this was her 3rd time coming to such events. All the rest lost and flew by, when she had submitted herself to studies.

"The food looks really good!" Nagisa pranced around, stall to stall. The accumulation of all the mouth watering foods, had aroused her.

"Karma, let's get something." She hooked her arm around mine and brought me to a Takoyaki stall. The bright lights and boys with red headbands.

"I don't eat remember?" I reminded her.

The guys oddly looked at me.

"Geeze, I'll eat it myself then, you've had enough food for the night haven't you?" Nagisa played off the unexpected reveal.

I had entirely forgotten that I wasn't supposed to say stuff like that. You could say that my relaxed state had got the best of me.
When Nagisa was handed the Takoyaki. I definitely saw someone winking at her. Followed by some whistling.
I shot my eyes at them.

"Sorry man." They all laughed.

As Nagisa was going, I made sure to thank the young men by cutting out all their electricity in the booth. Of course, I made sure that no one was watching. In any case, I intended to create more damage upon them. Though, I made sure to withhold from any destruction. At least for the sake of this date.

"Huh?" Nagisa turned around, but before she did. I swung her back.

"Let's go enjoy those Takoyakis." I said.

"Yes!" She said with excitement.

We rested on a platform of wooden planks next to a naked tree. I found myself interested in the stars above us. Nagisa had stopped at stared as well. The pitch black and the stars twinkling in the night.

"They're beautiful." Nagisa commented.

"Yeah." I agreed, "shining so brightly. Just like you." I added.

"You're so silly." Nagisa giggled.

"That's who I am." I responded.

"Then you can be the dark night. I'll be the stars, that you've grown fond of." Nagisa patted my head.

<Nagisa>
I really appreciated the lack of light. For the reasons that I didn't know whether I was bright like a strawberry.

"Karma?" I called his name. "Can I ask you a question?" I fidgeted.

"What is it?" He clocked his head my way.

I wanted to know whether or not we were in love and considered-

"I-I've been thinking for awhile." I stuttered. "You and I both know we hold each other dear." I placed my hands on my chest and I could feel the heart racing.
Come on Nagisa, let it out.

"A-are we dating?" I asked finally.

There was a slight silence until Karma held my hand and kissed it. I couldn't wait any longer for his reply.

"Of course." He answered. "After all this time, you ask now?"

"I guess so." I nodded my head, sweltering in heat as my heart skipped a beat. I think I may have a heart condition that needs to be checked out.

Karma took his arm and hung it over my shoulder and sighed.

"I wish the day never ends."

"Yeah, me too."

I didn't know if fate was also by our side. However, when the fireworks had blasted in the night sky. It's vibrancy chilled my spine and that silence of just the booming, gave hope.

Satisfaction delighted me and I went for a loving embrace. All I want is Karma in my arms. Finally, they're was reality in both of us.