Drifting Apart

Chapter 3: Forgotten

Present day

As he laid in his bed remembering, Ilhoon thought of Minjoo. He could never forget what happened, and he would never forgive himself for what happened, even if the people around him said it wasn't his fault.

He couldn't get himself to visit her. He didn't have the right to be in her presence anymore.

Ilhoon sat up in his bed and stayed there, staring at blankly into space.
Remembering his conversation with Sungjae had led him to think about Minjoo again and again, but he just wanted to forget.

Forget?

Ilhoon was the worst. He cursed himself for wanting to forget. He couldn't forget someone who has already forgotten him. It was the only thing he could do for her after all the things he put her through. He had to carry all the memories that she had forgotten.

He laughed a little.

I really am a bad guy, aren't I, Joo?

After half an hour, he dragged himself out of bed. He went to the bathroom to wash up, then stared at his face in the mirror. It was sickening. There was no expression; just a cold, blank face. He was feeling so many emotions—but you could never tell.

Maybe this is why everyone leaves me.

He wanted to punch the mirror and anything that showed a reflection of him. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, but he couldn't do anything. He was useless, he was just someone who couldn't even express how they feel. The only thing he could do was just stare at his hateful reflection.

With a sudden rush of adrenaline, Ilhoon started washing his face with water. He kept splashing water to the point where he wasn't able to breathe properly. He just wanted to erase his feelings to match the blank expression that haunted his face.

His washing was interrupted by a ring of a doorbell. He quickly turned off the faucet and dried his face. Before he left, Ilhoon took one last look at himself, and the only thing he could see was a pale, frail boy. Shocked at what he saw, he left as fast as he could, fearing he would think about that day again. His reflection showed his cowardly self from that time so many years ago, where he really was useless. Ilhoon slowly closed the bathroom door as he stepped out.

The useless me was much happier back then.

He swallowed hard, shaking his head.

Ignorance is bliss.

An impatient knocking on the door interrupted his thoughts. Ilhoon took a breath and went to the door.

Standing there were his two good friends, Hyunsik and Peniel. Ilhoon smiled at the sight of them. They were all in the same group of friends along with Sungjae. The only difference was, they still stuck around and talked to Ilhoon.

Ilhoon opened the door and leaned casually on it.

"What's up?" He asked.

Hyunsik and Peniel raised their arms to show the bags they were carrying.

"We brought snacks!" Peniel said cheerfully.

"Yeah, you've been pretty down lately. Thought visiting you and bringing you food could cheer you up," Hyunsik said with a soft smile.

Ilhoon grinned gratefully and moved aside to let them in, then shut the door as they went in.

"So, is there anything new about Sungjae?" Peniel asked as he started taking the snacks out.