Vikings: Imagine you and Ivar ...

Imagine you being the one to piece Ivar back together

ONESHOT
Words: 1706

Ragnar being back wasn't really a present for the boys, especially when he asked each one of them to come with him back to England except for Ivar. You always hated it, how some people treated Ivar as the weak one while you knew for sure he was mentally the strongest of them all. But everywhere you came there was that silence, that tensing. Alsaug hardly talked, Sigurd and Ivar had more conflict that before and Ubbe and Hvitserk really didn't care, they were drinking and eating while Ivar just looked in front of him, almost waiting for someone to take on his bad mood. But nobody did, being a friend of him, being in love with him maked you feel compassionate with his situation. If you had a bigger mouth you would confront Ragnar with the fact but you knew Ivar wouldn't like that. And it wasn't your business so you just stayed put, listening to the conversation that went fort and back between the brothers ... except for Ivar. It felt like he wasn't there, a ghost on a table for his brothers and mother while he was the most visible person for you. But you stayed out of it, knowing those family matters weren't easy to handle, centainly not when Aslaug stood in charge and Sigurd and Ivar were in the same room. Over the years you learned a big deal over the sons of Ragnar. It got you quite close in a friendship with Ivar, what started with him being so dominant around you. But you learned to handle and respect him in a certain way, evolving to a friendship. Althrought you felt more for him.

You were home, having no mother since bird and a father that was half the time away, you felt quite hollow in this house, scared almost. You were just pulling of your dress when you startled from the knocking on the door.
'Who is it?' You asked, pulling back that dress on.
'You don't get much visitors except for me so take a wild guess.' The door swung open, you hand't even the time to get it open for him before he crawled in.
'Ivar.' You greeted him carefully. He was right, you didn't got much visitors, you weren't one of those popular slavegirls where Ubbe and Hvitserk ran after all the time. Maybe that's why Ivar hang around you much, he had at least some kind of claim on you.
'Father came,' he began. You tied your dress back together and looked how he pulled himself on to your bed ... althrought their was a table and chairs.
'And?'
'I'm going to England with him.' He said with that confident smirk on his face. You opened your mouth, instincly wanting to congratulate him but on second thoughts you didn't. Why would you? He was going away with his father, back to England, knowing out of the stories they weren't that eager on inviting vikings, certainly not Ragnar. Half England probarbly wanted him dead. And Ivar was gonna join him, he couldn't really blame you for being skeptical. 'What is it?' He signed. You opened your mouth, shut it again and went to sit aside him on the bed.
'I just have my doubts.'
'Wich doubts?' He asked. You were glad he at least wanted to listen to your opninion on the matter.
'It's that your father isn't really a hero over there, there are many christians who want him dead. And you are going with him,' You didn't finish your sentence, hoping he would get it on his own. But he didn't or he didn't want to admit to it.
'What are you saying Y/n.' He said almost inpatient. You sighed and took a deep breath.
'Being concerned about you I don't think it's a good idea to go . It could get you killed, or worse captured.' You explained in one large breath. His bleu eyes almost pierced through yours and you swallowed slowly, knowing this could go two ways. He was mostly calm around you but the last couple of days, since Ragnar returned he was a little short tempered. You saw him do already some things with his brother, you weren't really jumping to meet that side of him to.
'Because I'm a cripple, is that what you are saying?' He asked you rather sharp. You looked down to the wooden floor, thinking how you could get this strarting argument turned in to no argument at all. When you looked back at him he was still looking at you with those almost harened hollow eyes.
'No,' you began steady. 'I would say it to everybody. I'm just not sure if it is wise.' You constructed your sentences in a way he could pick an insult out of it.
'It's my one change to go with my father.'
'And maybe your last.' You reacted on that, being honest now maybe wasn't your best move.
'I would rather die there aside my father than here among the people that so disgust me.' He pointed to the door.
'Ivar, you're not thinking with a straight mind. Ragnar his return maked you all so tensed, placing your emotions into the situation. I don't think you thought about it.'
'Who are you to say what I can and can't do!' He yelled, trewing his arms up like he was going to hit you. And in a reflex you pulled away from the bed, away from him, away from his anger. While doing it you thought about the consequenties this could have. You never believed that he would hurt you. But you saw already so much of his anger towards others that it was an instinct your body produced being around him. And that instinct frooze him right on his place. You stayed on that distant, five steps away maybe, hardly more while you looked at him. He looked so distant, so angry while he slowly lowered his arms before his eyes looked back at you and your tensed body standing there. In seconds his mood turned around, you saw that vulnerability, that pain, the uncertainty in his always looking strong blue eyes. 'You thought I would hurt you.' He said. You felt your heart cracking open a little, afraid that the previous argument would change everything between you.
'No.'
'Why did you jump away then?' He asked, not looking to you but to the floor. You felt guilty for still standing there while he got all wrapped up in his emotions. You walked back to the bed, sitting aside him, turning your body towards him.
'It was a reflex Ivar. It didn't mean a thing.' You tried to reassure him. He looked at you, his strong blue eyes not so strong anymore.
'You thought I was going to hurt you, like I do with everybody I know.' He turned his eyes back to the wooden floor. You layed two fingers carefully under his chin, pulling his eyes right back to you.
'Everybody is a little afraid of Ivar The Boneless, it isn't a bad thing, you will do powerfull things with it. My body just reacted on the violence I already saw in my life. It has nothing to do with you, I know you won't hurt me.' You explained on a soft tone. His eyes traveled to your hand still stabilitating his fragile face.
'But you are scared of me?'
'Everybody always is Ivar. That doesn't mean it effects me. You are my friend, I,' you felt silence, looking away for a moment, doubting if you would say that. But when you turned back, saw that vulnerability again you knew it wasn't something he showed everybody. 'I love you more than I'm scared of you.' You finally said. 'And I don't want you to go because I'm afraid that you will die, won't return.' You went futher. He cracked a little under those words. You hand fell back in your lap while some kind of disbelief filled his face. Aside his mother and brothers nobody really loved Ivar the Boneless, except for you. Because you saw his potential, the greatness, the tenderness of his heart. And surly now, the uncertainty in his eyes maked it even a better feeling than it already was. 'You don't believe me?' You asked with a small smile on your lips. He looked back at you. You layed your hand against his jaw and pulled him closer, placing a kiss on his lips. His first reaction was to do nothing, but while you brought more pressure on his lips he opened them a little and answered yours in so much uncertainty. When you pulled back you let your forehead rest against his. He blincked his eyes, looked at you and a small uncertain smile came on his lips. 'Go if you want to. Be great, be fearless, come back with fame. I will be here waiting.' You stroke his jawline before you lost the contact with him and pulled back completly.
'I will.' He whispered. He looked aside to you and you smiled, a loving smile and he just watched you do it.
'You can stay, if you want to.' You nodded to the bed. He nodded, still in conflict with everything he felt of emotions.

But in the end of that night you laid aside him, gazing into the room and thinking of what you had accomplished while you listened to his steady breating aside you. You broke him a little, by pulling back on his reaction .... But you pieced him back together, even more than before. You felt him turn, a hand sneaking over your waist, pulling you closer. You turned his side. It was hard to see if he was sleeping, or preteding he was sleeping but it was a nice feeling. His lips rested against your shoulder, you felt his warm breath on your skin while his hand layed on your stomach, holding you close. Maybe somebody as ruthless and disturbed as Ivar needed some love in his life, maybe he had to learn how to love before he could grow even bigger. You knew one thing, Ivar wasn't a bad person, it was the world that maked him bad.