Vikings: Imagine you and Ivar ...

Imagine being Ivar's anchor after Sigurds dead

ONESHOT
Words: 2238

You felt the tensity hanging in the air, like it would fall down any minute and crush everybody underneath the heaviness of it while Sigurd snapped against his younger brother. He went far out of line this time and you saw Ivar his emotion turn more inwards with every word that boy said. Sigurd didn't stopped provoking his brother and you where just to far away to get to Ivar in time. So it was like a little twig, cracking in two when Ivar reacted, pulling his axe and trowing it to his brother. You gasped for breath, waiting, looking how Sigurd got up, pulling that axe out before strumbling to his brother. But he fell down, Sigurd died and all eyes turned to Ivar. You looked to, in disbelief, to the boy that just killed his own brother. Somewhere you saw it coming, the relationship between Ivar and Sigurd was already tensed for as long as you could remember. But being witness of it ... a whole heathen army was witness of it in fact and everybody just didn't moved while Ubbe and Hvitserk crouched down aside their dead brother. You looked to Ivar, who sat straight up in his seat, shocked eyes about his own actions and looking down to his brothers. You felt the guilt dropping in, knowing that if you were there you could maybe have stopped him. Being the only anchor Ivat still had he listened to you and now you were just to far out of reach to stop this distaster. You eyes traveled to the others, Halfdan and Harald give each other such a look you didn't trusted really and when you went looking for Björn he wasn't even around. You saw hatered within some looks, but you saw also fear. After his speech earlier you thought a large part of this army would follow Ivar into battle but now ... you weren't quite sure of that. And when you looked back he was gone, he wasn't sitting on his chair anymore and in a instinct you started to push yourself between the others.

It looked like hours before you where finally free from the army and runned over to his brothers. You startled from the blood, like you somewhere still hoped he would be alive in there. But Sigurd ... Sigurd Snake in the Eye was dead and Ivar killed him. 'Find him, bring him to reason.' Ubbe said to you. It took you a moment, torn between supporting them over the loss of their brother or going after the one who killed him. But your loyalty always laid with Ivar, being a slafe from his mother you where closer to him than anybody ever was aside his mother. She freed you before she walked to her own dead and since then Ivar kept you always close. Being capabel of knowing his feelings maked you closer than you imagined it ever to be.

You ran trought the muddy paths of this Ecbert kingdom, looking for the only person that really mattered. Every second you where away from him was a second more for him to shut of his humanity. You saw him do some gruesome things in the time grewing up together, you know what it did to him. It all started with that boy he killed when he was little, giving a little of himself away to his anger was like feeding a monster ... it only wanted more. You stopped at the gate, looking over the road uphill to the horizon where you just could see gallop his white horse and chariot away. He was running of? Your eyes started looking for a horse and as soon as you find one you climbed on it and drove it right after Ivar. You where already such a miserable rider, it was like the animal knew it and took it all on himself to follow the chariot. It took more than five minutes before you finally saw him, galloping right to ... another kingdom. He wasn't running, he just needed blow of some steam? 'Ivar!' You yelled, hands sloppy around the reins while the horse ran throught a small forest path. You saw him looking over his shoulder and for once you just hoped that he would listen to the first time you yelled but like always he didn't. Your horse spooked, he stopped so fast that you screamed while you lost balance over his shoulder and felt on the ground. You gasped, trying to find some cordination while the world spinned around you, and not only that. You saw men showing up from out the bushes around you. Like four of them? You started panicking, looking for your horse that ran of in the direction Ivar was going. And when you looked, trying to find him while those men approaced you he was there, in the middle of the road, looking. It was like he was thinking of leaving you there, with those men but because he was so far away you couldn't really see. 'Ivar!' You begged.
'No cripple is gonna help you now.' One of them grinned. You swallowed, crawling backwards until you hitted a tree and you had no where to go. He wouldn't leave you here, he wouldn't do that. But on the other hand, he just killed his brother so what were you worth to him after that? On of them took a knife and you closed your eyes. But the only thing you felt was something warm splashing against your cheek. You heared something heavy dropping to the ground, followed by a struggling. And when you opened your eyes your hands were covered under blood and Ivar was looking down to you from on his chariot.

You were covered in blood. You tried to wipe your hands off to your dress before you touched you own face. The men all layed dead before you, one lost his head, the others slaughtered in to pieces. And than you had Ivar who looked like something hollow. Two bleu eyes staring at you without nothing more. He just killed his brother and you where alone with him in a forest, how bad could this get further? 'Ivar,'
'What were you thinking?' He asked you, furious. Good, he still had some emotions, not the good ones but it was better than nothing.
'What was I thinking? You ran of to attack the first kingdom or village you encountered. On your own!' You shouted in disbelief. You pushed yourself up and walk to the road, carefully looking to the bodies that laid spread on the ground.
'And?'
'It could got you killed Ivar!' You yelled, realizing that him killing his brother could maybe be the last thing that you saw of him. He clenshed his teeth together, he took his reins again and gave you that hollow look again.
'Home is that way.' He pointed in the direction where his brothers were, planning on leaving you on you own without a horse.
'No!' You jumped on his chariot before he could take of.
'Why are you doing this y/n.' He shouted out. He turned his body in his seat, you grabbed the egde of the chariot in chase he was thinking of pushing you off.
'Because I care, because I don't want you to wander of to some village with innocent people you can slaughter.'
'Nobody is innocent.' He fired back.
'I am. I hate it when you do this, building walls, hating everybody, I',
'It is better to hate than to love.' He itterupted you. You hand flew out, smacked him right against his cheek. You pulled back, covering your mouth in disbelief of what you just did. He rolled his jaw and slowly looked back at you. And gone was that hollow emptyness in his eyes. You saw his anger flaming up like the fire before a sarcrifies. He never got you really scared before but he did now.
'Don't kill me.' You begged as a reaction on the monster you saw in his eyes. And just as that you pushed him out of balance, something flashed through his eyes and you took advantage of it. 'It isn't your fault, nothing is. That is what your mother always told you. The gods aren't punishing you, you are punishing them for making you this way, a cripple.' Your voice wasn't that strong as earlier, it was hardly a whisper.
'I killed my brother y/n, why are you not running in the other direction?' He hissed. The unsteadyness in his gaze grew and you slowly brought you hand up to touch him. But he refused, catching your wrist in his tied grip.
'It wasn't your fault. He never listened to you when you warned him so he got what he deserved.'
'He was my brother!' Ivar reacted. Your eyes filled with tears because his weren't doing it.
'I know. And I would ask the gods to turn back the time but they can't so the only thing that I can do is make sure you don't loose what is left of your humanity.' You folded your hand over his that still holded your wrist. It didn't hurt but is didn't felt relaxing either. He lost a little of his grip so you could peel of the fingers around your wrist before you wrapped your arms around him. His head felt heavy against your shoulder. He just sat there, hands in his own lap while the embrace holded on for minutes. 'Everybody in your situation would do the same. I don't know what price you pay for this but I still believe that some part of you can be saved because impatient, anger and hate are also gifts from the gods, you only have to use them right.' You whispered in his ear. He wrapped an arm around you waist and you knew you had cracked him right open, leaving a vunarable version of himself only for you to care about. 'He loved you Ivar and you loved him. I'm sure Valhalla will great him with a big feast, just as they will do for you when your time comes and you tell them your tales of glorie. You will see Sigurd back,' you felt silent, carefully cupping his face and looking down on him. His bleu eyes where just so alive but the pain and sadness he showed maked you a little hollow to. He regreted his choise, he regreted the picture of him killing his own brother. And it would haunt him the rest of his life.

The both of you stayed on that road the rest of the day until it was dark enough and most of the army would be to drunk or sleepy to notice Ivar coming back again. You where glad you convinsed him but as soon as you arrived and you saw Ubbe stand at the gate he tensed. It took him hardly a second to pull away all the feelings in his look back under that mask of him. And when he drove in he didn't looked to his brother but his brother certainly looked at him. You only gave a reassuring not when Ubbe noticed the blood on your dress and the fact that Ivar even wasn't speaking. Maybe it would be best for all of them to grief Sigurd in their own way, meaning you had to stay close to Ivar for the time being. He hardly said anything when he found himself some far of cotage to sleep. You tacked down his horse, give it a place to rest before you followed him in. But his silence kept going, he pulled himself on to the bed and tried to untied his legs what only caused him to react in anger on it. 'Ivar,' you rushed over, crouching down before him while you laid you hands over his.
'I killed him.' He whispered. You looked down, slowly untied the belt around his legs before you looked up again.
'Yes.' You nodded softly. Denying things wasn't a option with Ivar, he was making it himself already hard enough. You could only maked it easier. So you started to take of his armor while he just gazed in front of him. 'If you wanna raid tomorrow I can look for some men to accompany you.' You suggested, not knowing if he still needed to blow of some steam.
'No, we go home.' He nodded for himself. You carefully pulled his armor of so he was in nothing more than just his shirt.
'We go home,' you replied, laying your fingers under his chin so you could guide his gaze up. 'we give your brother a proper farewell, you regain strenth and you conquere again. Because that is your destiny, Ivar the Boneless is made to conquer this world, despite what he has done on the way.' You smiled encouraging. He laid his hand around you waist and pulled you softly down on his lap. You looked into his bleu eyes that still screamed a lot of things, but it was a magnificent set of eyes.
'Stay. I need you.' He confessed, pulling your face closer.
'Always.' You whispered before you felt the soft pressure of his lips against yours. You wrapped carefully an arm around his shoulder, opening your lips to his and so helped him forget what was consumed him all day. He was Ivar ... Ivar The Boneless, he would survive, he always did.