Too Close To Home (Camren)

Chapter 25.5

I knew that this was borderline stalking. I knew that this would only result in her being irrevocably mad at me. And I definitely knew that this would only lead with me holding onto my broken heart with my hand.

But my masochistic mind decided that I needed this.

I was looking at Vero and Camila interact outside Camila's house before they drove off for lunch. The first time I did it was the morning I woke up alone after the fight we had. As I was moping around the room, I stumbled onto her dress and I thought that could be an opportunity for me to see her.

As I took my time weighing the options of see her or not, I took a rather long shower and got ready.

I thought that if I did go, I could maybe talk to her about everything and about my two cents about what happened. But the only scenario I could picture was that she'd kick my ass and send it back here. She was pretty adamant on not wanting to talk things through.

If I didn't go, it's basically me letting her go. And I really don't want to let her.

Not anymore.

Things between us were never simple. It was always one problem after the other, stacking each time that I just couldn't handle it anymore. It was just too much.

What she knew or at least what she thought she knows were never actually the problem. It was so much more than that.

That was why I was very determined to make her stay the day before. I wanted to tell her everything that night but Camila had surprised me by attacking me in every way possible until my mind became so tired. I wouldn't think straight and it would be all jumbled up if I did try to talk, it could easily be misinterpreted if I didn't think it through first. I also knew that my side of the story was rather heavy and I simply didn't want to overwhelm her, not when she was so weak and at her last breath.

How could I tell her that her favorite person was the one who forbade me to date her?

But if I just let her go without fighting, I'd be repeating the same history over and over again. I had made so many mistakes in my life and one of the most heartbreaking one was when I let people and my own insecurity interfered with what I had with Camila.

I love her.

I love her.

I love her so fucking much that it hurts watching her unhappy because of me.

I know I don't deserve her. But at the same time, I feel like no one deserves her and that's when I feel like I should step up to at least try.

So picking the dress up, I walked out the door.

The drive there was filled with me and my nerves, my leg restlessly bouncing as I maneuvered the car on the road. My fingers were repetitively tapping the steering wheel and I kept looking at the dress she had left on the passengers seat beside me.

I had a lot of scenarios playing out in my head - from her slapping my face to her kissing me as I finished explaining - but there was one possibility that I had clearly missed out; Vero outside her door waiting for her.

Jealousy surged through me as I looked at how cheeky Vero's smile was. Just from the look on her face, even a blind man could see that my old friend was interested in Camila.

Lucy said once that she and Vero broke up because they weren't really happy and that they weren't ready for a serious relationship. But when we had the talk the day before, she had disclosed that it was because she fell for me.