Coming Home (camren)

Chapter 27

"Mmm, let me think...you insulted me, claiming I was stupid and called me a bitch more than once and you want me to apologize. No I don't think I'm going to let that go." She recalled, she herself getting pissed off.

"Why should I apologize?! I did nothing wrong! You literally took a misunderstanding and made it into this huge thing! And I said all those things because you pissed me off!" She explained, yelling at her a little louder than she should have.

"So because I pissed you off, that gives you the right to insult me and it be okay?" Camila asked a little dumbfounded, how could her wife be so intelligent and so stupid at the same time? "I put up with so much of your shit in the past Lauren, but I'll be damned if I let you get away with this." She added, holding her ground.

"Oh my god! I'm sick of this shit, you act like I used to fucken beat you or something!" Lauren said, now more annoyed than ever.

"Well considering you've almost choked me to death, I would say you weren't far from it." She said, but that was a low blow, Lauren couldn't help her ptsd episodes. But aside from that Camila did put up with a lot of Lauren's shit, like the fact that she waited until she was 24 years old to finally admit she had actual feelings for her, like that fact that while she slept around she expected Camila to abstain from it. Like the fact that she didn't even have the balls to woman up to getting Camila pregnant, at first claiming that for all she knew Camila could be sleeping around while she was on deployment so the kid could be virtually anyone's. The fact that Lauren's never actually taken her feelings into consideration, she didn't care how Camila felt when she finally decided to propose she just did it, She didn't ask for Camila's opinion on building a house in the middle of nowhere she just built it, she didn't ask her about opening a bar she just told her she was doing it, heck she was the  same even with the small things like getting dogs, she just sprung that on her. Or like tonight for instance she didn't bother asking Camila if she was okay with hosting a dinner with her parents and two semi-strangers, she just did it and not to mention all the other shit. So yeah I think if I was Camila I would  blow my lid with something as "unimportant" as this.

Lauren didn't have anything to say after that because even though she was angry with her, she still felt terribly bad that, that ever happened and the fact that she ever hurt Camila tore her up inside. And Camila saying that to her, hurt. Much more than she expected. Camila instantly felt bad for vomiting out those words but she couldn't find her voice to take those words back. So she let Lauren walk away.

This whole thing was just getting way out of hand.

  Some may agree with Lauren and think Camila really is just overreacting, and she might be or maybe this was just the straw that broke the camels back. It was like everything that ever happened between them had finally hit her, and she was starting to have serious doubts. Not about Lauren or her love for her but about their relationship. Maybe they jumped into things way too soon. They had some issues she chose to ignore for the fact that she was so wrapped up in the idea of finally being with her. Being in love with her for the most part of her life and finally having her was in a way blinding, she was a very reasonable and logical person yet she couldn't yell "yes" fast enough when Lauren proposed after technically not even being in a relationship. Sure they were long time friends and knew things about each other but most of their time spent together didn't consist of much talking...only loud screams.

She was starting to realize that there were a few things missing in their relationship, the main thing being  communication. For one they didn't discuss things, well Lauren didn't discuss things with her. Secondly Camila bottled up her feelings, instead of sharing how she felt with her wife. And because of that it led to this, they didn't know how to get out of this fight. By avoiding talking to each other and shouting terrible things to each other when they did talk was only making things worse. But at the same time neither of them were actually making a real effort to fix this.