Pretending (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction)

Chapter 62: Her

Author's Note: Be sure to listen to Oh Calamity by All Time Low while reading this chapter. :)

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I stayed behind Michael's back as we entered the house. I let him lead the way, although I have completely memorized every corner of this house. I looked and got welcomed by tons of people around, holding red cups on their hands. Some are dancing, some are just talking, and some making out. I looked away and focused my sight on my feet. I remember the last time I've been here. Everything was still okay, then something came up. I took a deep breath and bit my lower lip. I promised not only to myself but to Michael as well that I would not let myself get drowned by my own thoughts, even just for tonight. I told him, even myself that tonight, I would have fun. I would try to get along, I would try to move on. Although it wouldn't be that easy, since the possibility of seeing him again after two weeks is really big tonight.

I slipped my hands on the pockets of my dirty green hoodie jacket as we kept walking. I settled wearing my usual outfit, with my hair down and a beanie. I felt the need of hiding myself at this party. I don't really have an exact reason, but I keep looking down whenever I pass by people. I might see Stacey, or Chris, or Calum, with Madison. I'm not afraid, though. I just don't want to deal with anyone or anything at the moment. I really don't want to come here. But I guess going out even just a little wouldn't be that bad. But I can't stop getting nervous about something I don't know. I don't understand. Maybe then I am afraid, I guess.

It was hard getting through since everyone started dancing along to the deafening music. Michael remained walking and I got stuck, since the two people in front of me won't stop grinding each other. I couldn't pass through; I am so tiny and weak. I couldn't see Michael or any familiar face anymore. I rolled my eyes in frustration. Without any warning, I felt a tight grip on my left hand and dragged me out of the crowd.

I started wincing in a little pang of pain. My hands aren't that okay yet. I can still feel pain whenever I touch the cuts, and now someone's gripping it.

"God I'm so sorry I totally forgot, fuck!" Michael exclaimed the moment he looked at me, finally getting out of the little crowd.

I laughed a bit. "It's okay."

"Your hands are cold." He smiled. "Want a drink?"

"Yeah." I replied.

He lead me to the group of people that I am familiar with before getting us something to drink. A smile automatically escaped from my lips as they started giving me tight warm hugs. These are the people whom I treasure the most. They are the people whom I managed to gather in a short amount of time, never making me regret every single second that I've had with them. I stood beside Ashton, smiling as I settled my eyes on Luke and Stella in front of us. His arms are around her back, and she feels comfortable with it. I wanted to ask what's going on between them, but I kept my mouth shut. I don't know, I just don't feel like talking. I remained silent as I try to maintain the fake smile on my face.

"How have you been?" Ashton asked, the scent of alcohol evident on his breath. He looked drunk, but he sounded sober.

"I've been good," I just said, not wanting to say I was not. "How about you?"

"I've been good too." He answered and smiled, letting the silence between us start again, even though it was really noisy around.

"I'm sorry if we had to take you here." He started speaking again, looking down. "Even if you don't tell, I know things have been hard for you."

I looked down.

"You can always talk to me, if you just feel like to. You don't have to bottle it all up inside you, Kristen. I'm always here for you, we always are. And don't think I'm only saying this because I'm having alcohol or what. I'm completely sober. And honest."