My Spiritual Journey

Feeling defeated

I want to talk about this because there are times where we have felt defeated.  I felt this way about my spiritual walk as a Christian and they feel the need-or maybe it was just me- as a person that was brought up to be a perfectionist if something went wrong I obviously need to be punished for it. I didn't question things I was forced to apologize despite me not being  wrong and was dictated what I should and shouldn't do. 

Even though I am an adult now with different ideals it still affected my growth in my spiritual, mental, and emotional state of being. 

It hinders progress to constantly punish yourself. It hinders progress to not see all the good that you are doing in the world. 

If something hinders your. Stop doing it.

If you cannot express how you feel or someone is denying validation or support for you then cut them off.

It may be painful but I guarantee you it will be for your benefit.

Do something that makes you feel special and get out there and do it.

Its easier said than done but trust me once you jump you will feel great.

Having a struggle seeing something as a possibility talk to someone about it.

Even it means taking out loans for it.

Find some safety nets.

Sometimes filling out job applications are hard.

And with this economy I mean- let's face it.

You know why we celebrate when people finally get a job in America?

Its a miracle to find one. 

Fill out ten twenty or thirty job applications and trust me you will find the job right for you.

 Failure does not mean to give up it actually means the exact opposite.

Depression and defeat go hand and hand.

Sometimes you will lose a lot of people

"You're a drain to be around."

"You're not going anywhere in life."

Don't you just love those people?

They become so toxic that you are questioning the friendship.

Honestly who hasn't been there.

Losing someone because they don't see your potential is clearly not worth your time.

Find people who will say,

"Hey dude common knock it off and try."

To some degree I understand somethings can be exhausting.

But if you promise to be with someone no matter what.

Then put your feelings aside for that person.

like they clearly did for you.

This is not directed towards anyone.

I just...it's a pet peeve of mine where people think its okay to tell you stupid shit and you're the one who is always there for them and they think you're pushing them away but to you its the opposite. But you can't have a decent conversation because they know certain people who are feeding negative information about you and just-

okay fuck it.

Seriously fuck it.

Peoples opinions on you DON'T MATTER

Kay?

It doesn't fucking matter what they think of you.

If you're a psycho to them.

Embrace the fact and don't give a damn about it.

The thing is you're a psycho to them.

You won't go anywhere in life to them.

Just be yourself and tell anyone else who tries to sink you further into depression to fuck themselves. Because clearly they do not understand what you're going through.

Depression unfortunately is a illness that is hard for people who don't have it to understand.

"Well they should come to me if they have issues."

Oh well thank you. Especially considering later on you tell me that I need to cheer up or "I brought this on myself."

No one is gonna always be there for you no matter what.

Its a hard pill to swallow.

It's even harder when you have depression.

Things in this life are temporary and that might set off a few things but remember you can go more to just one person about things and there are professionals who can help you.

Don't let depression become your defeat.

Words are only words

It is what you put in the price of value of those words that makes a difference.

I know this is probably stuff you already heard and its not going to sink in. 

But it will one day and trust me you won't hate yourself for the time you've wasted.

You will just stop giving a fuck about it.