A one time thing {Severus Snape}

Chapter 23: Dealing

She lowered her hands and looked at his face. His black eyes regarded her closely.

"I'm sorry," she whispered the words, her eyes slipped from his to the top button on his frock coat which was buttoned up.

"He will be caught." His words were quiet, but she heard the dark menacing quality behind them. A shiver ran up her spine, she was certain that if Severus caught Dean, he would be pleading to go to Azkaban.

She looked back up at him and saw the edges of anger in his eyes at Dean.

Meg knew Dean had got away; it hadn't been hard for him to fly from the grounds, while Remus and the others had concentrated on getting Neville down without injuring him further.

She also knew that security around Hogwarts had been tightened and that there were wards around the infirmary. It scared her to think that he might try again. It scared her to think that Neville had almost been killed. It scared her to think that the entire events were of her own making.

She turned her eyes away from Severus; unable to look into those black eyes any longer.

Nothing had been said on a personal nature. He'd made no remarks on what had happened. Told her nothing of what he was feeling, or what he had felt. She didn't even know if he'd found the letter she'd written to him. She knew nothing past what he allowed her to see on his face and in his eyes. And that told her nothing.

He would sit with her, like he was now, sometimes she would fall asleep on her own but wake to find him sitting watching her. Other times she'd fall asleep with him beside her and then when she woke he'd be gone and Jack would be sitting there.

She wanted to ask him how he felt, ask him why he sat with her. But she was frightened of his answers and frightened of her response.

The rug she had been standing on one leg on had been ripped from under her and she was floundering still. Feeling as if she was in mid air still, still falling, but this time she was uncertain what would happen when she landed; if she ever landed.

Feelings, emotions all became entangled in her mind. Images and recriminations swirled around and around like flames in her brain. She was tired and sore still and she just wanted peace. But she didn't think she would ever lay claim to that feeling again.

"Megan?" The curtain pulled to one side and Poppy came bustling in, beaming cheerfully. "Isn't it a dreadful day outside? The rain isn't stopping to come down!"

Megan closed her eyes briefly, before mastering a tiny smile at the well meaning woman. She didn't want cheerfulness right now; she just wanted to be left alone.

"Do you want any pain relief potion, dear?" She came round the side of the bed opposite to Severus and using her wand checked Meg over.

"Hum...heart-rate up a little." Poppy frowned down at Meg, who kept her eyes lowered.

"Nightmare," Severus informed her softly.

"Ah..." Poppy nodded happy with her other readings. "Do you want any pain relief?" she repeated her earlier question and Meg had to bite her lip from screaming at her.

"No, I'm fine." She looked at her starched apron. "Thanks." It came out belatedly as she fought against telling the other woman she didn't want to stop feeling the pain because it was the only way she knew she was alive.

She didn't care what kind of day it was because she couldn't get past how close to death she'd come and how close to death Neville had been. 'If onlys' chased around in her brain, but it was too late now. The damage had been done. And she would have to pay for that. The knowledge that she had almost been responsible for a students death.