Ex with Benefits (sequel to Roommates with Benefits)

Only death will do us part

Throw away the key

We'll work it out together

Let it bring us to our knees

Love is a shelter in a raging storm

Love is peace in the middle of a war

If we try to leave

May God send angels to guard the door

Love is not a fight

But it's something worth fighting for

I inevitably started choking up, and my already failing notes got only worse, but lucky for me Nelson backed me up, continuing the song in the background while I tried to gather the words. I've never been romantic, I never could really express myself in words, but Lukas has gone out of his way so many times to show me how much he loves me, I had to reciprocate at least once.

Taking a deep breath, despite tears filling my eyes as much as breaking my voice, I recited – because I had to learn this by heart, otherwise I couldn't have said it: "I ... I chose this song for a reason, and ... you know which one. I ... I've fought this, I've fought our love with all I had, and you know that, but Lukas, you've been so patient with me, all the times I pushed you away, all the times ...", okay, maybe I couldn't really recite it by heart.

I covered my mouth with my hand, touched, and, ashamedly, had to hide my face in Lukas' chest when he embraced me. So much for surprising him, huh? I tried not to think of the horrible figure I made with all of our guests, neither of how stupid I was being. 

I hate myself when I get this weak, and, it seems, nothing makes me as weak and fragile as my feelings for my fresh husband.

I guess in the end that's it, I may be strong in life more than I ever was, but if there's one person I allow myself to be weak with, that's Lukas. I guess because I ... trust him so blindly as to not doubt him. 

Feels good, I'll admit. After I fought our thing so much exactly because I didn't trust his feelings for me nor him, it feels good to just ... abandon myself in his arms like this, let him be the one and only blind spot in my puffed up toughness.

Lucky thing Nelson took the attention off from me and my awfully pathetic figure, so that the guests focused on his amazing voice and the song, other than on me and my tears.

"Come on, don't cry, baby, otherwise Kelly's gonna get mad at me for ruining your makeup." Lukas joked, and I chuckled. 

He engulfed me in his warm embrace, and started rocking us back and forth to the sound of the music, I bet in order to make it look like we were perfectly fine, and I hadn't just broken down in tears in front of 40-something people plus caterers and all. Way to be awkward, Tara.

"I know what you wanted to say anyways." Lukas stated, kissing my temple. "I know you, baby. I know all the words in your heart, I can read them even if you can't voice them."

I hit his chest lightly, complaining in a small chuckle: "Why do you have to be so good with words, and I can't? I'm the Literature major here."

"Then write me a poem."

I laughed against his chest. "You never quit being a jerk, do you?"

Lukas moved back, just in order to raise my chin, his bright blue sky eyes staring straight into my browns as he stated, serious, yet with an adorable smile etched on his features. "I'm your jerk, baby girl."

I laughed, hiding my face behind the crook of his neck as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, following his slow rocking. "I just ... love you more than I could ever describe, Lukas. And I wish I could express it better than that."