When Pop Meets Metal ((GIRLXGIRL))

~How I Deal~

After 10 minutes of just standing in the driveway I finally got up the urge to go inside. I took off my sweater and my shoes and leaving them by the door. My mom came out of where ever she was and greeted me at the door "Hey sweetie. How has your day been?" She asked. Her voice was happy. When she was with my dad she was happy.. That's the only reason why I never told her about what he does to me. That and the fact that he scares me half to death.

" It was great. " I lied. " I actually have some homework to get started on. " I lied again. "Okay well I'm just going to go out shopping for a while. " She said with a smile. "Anything you want?" She asked, looking down slightly at me. " Um just maybe some more beads?" I asked hopefully. I was running pretty low on beads and for me that was awful. Beading takes my mind off of all the shit my father puts me through. "Of course sweetie. Just the ones with the assorted colours and deviders?" She asked. Well there was a plus side to when my father is around, my mum is happy and she buys me stuff. "Um yeah. Thanks. That would be great. " and I gave her the best smile I could. "Okay. See you later then." and with that she left; leaving me all alone in the house with my dogs.

Three hours had passed by and still no sign of my mum. She probably got sidetracked. I thought. I looked around my room but nothing in here interested me. I sighed and layed down. I wish I could have a friend to talk everything over with and just tell them everything. I don't even know if that's what I would want to do with this friend.. I just want someone to be there for me who will understand and comfort me. Just someone who would make me feel better. Is that too much to ask? Well apparently it is..

I heard the door open downstairs and I ran down to go see my mum and get my beads. I stopped dead in my tracks when I got downstairs. In front of my stood my father. I tried to run but he grabbed both of my arms and pulled me back. "tisk tisk, little girl. Don't run away from your daddy. We have to have a little chat. " He said, talking down to me as if I was a little child. This made me mad. "I'm not a little girl. " I said in a small voice. I was really scared that this would just make things worse.

"Oh really?" He asked. I didn't know whether I should speak or if I should keep quiet. " Answer me!" He yelled. "R-really.. " I said, trembling in fear. "Well I think your a little girl. And for you talking back like a little girl.. I will punish you like a little girl." He said with a chuckle.

I bit my lip, as if that would stop me from shaking. I stiffened, waiting to be hit. When he didnt do anything I opened my eyes and looked around.. Nothing. Then why didn't he.. That's when I felt the most violating thing anybody has ever done to me. His firm hand came down and smaked my ass with what seemed like all of his force. I let out a loud scream and tried to run away from him, kicking and screaming. I was so scared. I bit him and that's when I finally got away. I ran off but he recovered too quickly and grabbed my leg, making me fall flat on my face. I felt the blood drip down from my nose already.

He took me down to the basement, dragging me down the stairs by my hand and I could feel the bruises forming on my legs and back as he pulled me down each step. We got to the bottom of the stairs and he threw me into the corner, my back hitting hard up against the wall. I let out a yelp. "Go ahead and scream you little bitch! Nobody can hear you!" he yelled at me.. He was mocking me. I just looked down at the ground. He came over to me and grabbed me by my neck, holding me up against the wall. He looked up at me and laughed at me. I felt my air run out and I franctically tried to gasp for air.

He let go of me and I fell to the ground with a small thud. I was crying and honestly freaking out, trying to get air back into my lungs. He punched my gut and then walked away, leaving my helpless and beat up body just laying on the floor.

About an hour or so later I finally found the strength to get up. I stood to my feet and leaned against the wall for support as I walked up the stairs. I reached my room after what seemed like a life time and I stood in front of the mirror. I looked at the dammage. My bum was slightly bruised. I had dark bruises all along my legs and on my stomach. My arms had light bruises in the shape of hands and my neck was just really really red. Thankfully no bruise.

I sighed and went over to my bed and pulled out a razor from underneath my matress. I stared at it for a while and then I harshly ran it across my wrist, it left angry red lines on my skin but it felt so amazing. I laughed a little before about a year ago I never knew that being hurt could feel so amazing. I stared at my pale skin as it became covered in crimson red blood. I heard the front door open and this time I was sure it was my mother. I grabbed a ton of toilet paper from my ensuite bathroom and placed the paper over the cuts, for it to soak up the blood. I turned off all of the lights in my room and got into bed with the paper over the cuts. I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep.

My mother came in almost immediately after I had gotten into bed and I hope she buys my fake sleeping act. Lucky for me she did buy it. She placed my beads down on my desk and kissed my forehead before saying goodnight to my supposedly asleep figure and then left my room without another word. I sighed in releif and sat up. I waited for all the blood to soak up and then I threw the paper into the garbage and went to sleep for real.