The German Exchange Husband (Part 2)

Preparing

It's been a whole 2 months since we found out. Samara has gotten sicker. For now chemotherapy and radiation is working. The doctor said don't get our hopes up though...

She vomits a lot. She has trouble sleeping because of the night mares. She doesn't eat much at all anymore. She's beginning to loose her hair. So I got her a wig for our 1 year...

It's long natural red head. Kinda like mine but different. She always wanted red hair so now she can have it.

We got in our pictures in though before she started loosing her hair. Then she stopped lettin us take more of her. She said she doesn't want her twins to see her sick like that..

On the other hand. Vadim and Ashley are coming up still. I offered to cancel but she said no. She wanted to see them before she would... I'm not fucking saying it.

They will be up in a week.

We have not decided yet on telling them. Samara doesn't want attention or anyone to feel bad for her. Right now the only people who know is our families. Even though it is pretty obvious that she is sick.

Dispite this cancer. Dispite the fact she is consently sick. Samara is still an amazing monther. Right now actually she is upstairs with the twins. Reading to them.

Right now I am in the living room. This has still not sank in yet. The fact that my wife is dying. The fact that the love of my life is dying. The fact that I have to spread my wife's ashes at only 24.

I pace around the room. I have no idea what I am going to do. I planed on Samara out living me. That me and her would sit on this couch old together. Watching some movie.

My throat clenches and I hold back tears. I haven't cried since the day I told Samara about my brother.

Then soon I felt of boney arms snake around me. I turned around and crashed Samara against me. Then I let loose again. My heart ached and I didn't let go.

"Please don't leave me." I whispered into the air.

"I'm here now." She said into me.

I just couldn't say anything my own tears were blinding me. Then she sits me down.

"Derex look at me." She starts. So I look into her dull blue-green eyes. They still held that sparkle but the color is slowly fading to gray. They were still beautiful. Her round face was thinner looking but not sickly thin. Yet..

Her body changed a lot. She was never fat but she had meat on her bones and was thicker. Now she was becoming skin and bones. The way she looked just shattered my heart and a billion tiny pieces.

"You need to hold yourself together. For me. For our twins. I know this is hard but we can't change this. Please love." She said and whipped away my tears with her boney finger.

"I'm trying. I just don't want to loose you." I said and cried once more.

"Derex for now I am here. Do you want to spend it crying?" She said and kissed my tears away. I shook my head no.

"Then lets make the best we can." She said and smiled. Her smile was still full of life. I just held her against me. She dis not move. She was right for now she is here. We just have to make the best of it.

"Hey Derex can you shave my head?" Samara asked.

"Why?"

"Well I'm loosing it anyway.. It already look like shit. I want to wear that pretty red wig!" She said.

I nodded and we walked uo to the bathroom. I sar her down on the toilet and got the scissors out. She had long beautiful dark brown hair. It was finally the length she wanted it. She out grew her straight bangs and had think side ones.