#17: I Missed You

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I sat down on my computer chair, my fingers playing with the knobs on the sound board. I sighed loudly and thought about her. My eyes must have been deceiving me this whole time, it can't be her. She died, a very long time ago and to top it all off... in front of me. My head started to hurt, I laid my head on my hands thinking about her. She was so beautiful, her curly black hair, her dark brown eyes, pale skin, and full lips she always complained about. 

"Hey. You alright?" Jay walked in eating something. "Want some?" 

"Would you believe me if I said I saw Her today?" I looked at him lazily, ignoring his other question.

He scoffed, "Who?" I glared at him. "OH! HER?! Really? Where?" 

He's obviously lying with the overreaction. I sighed again, "You knew?" 

He grinned mischievously with a mouthful of whatever he was eating, "Yeah." 

"Since when?" I curved a brow. Clenching my teeth. Jeez, are they all like this? 

"Since you moved back, she's my master you know. I can always feel her presence, at first it took me a while since she looked different in every lifetime. But, she's exactly the same now." He shrugged his shoulders. 

"Give me a reason not to punch you right now... why didn't you tell me ?!" I slammed my fists on the table and stood up. 

He stared at me lazily, "You never asked, I guessed you gave up by now." 

"I've been looking for her my whole damn life! And you're going to sit here and tell me she's been here this entire time!" 

He lifted a brow, "Uh, excuse me. But to correct you she just came like a month ago to Korea. But, yeah she's been alive for I believe 3 or 5 lifetimes. I lost count every time. I forget." 

I groaned. You're impossible. 

"I know. We have to prepare for the concert. So, you coming to Hongdae or not?" 

"Why didn't you kill me off like the rest... like why?" I sat down in my seat, exhausted. 

He shrugged, "My master liked you, you know. It's my duty to make her happy. But you're too dumb to even notice her when she was around cleaning, or the secretary. Shit man." 

If I didn't think my head was pounding before, it was now. "What. In the hell. Did you just say?" 

He rolled his eyes at me, "You remember? Hye Sun. The cleaning lady, that was her. Margaret, the secretary. Scarlet, the record producer in America. Mary, the photographer. HEEEELLLLOOOO. She's always been by you. She's amazing. Funny how it happens. You didn't notice that they all looked the same? like, are you dumb or are you pretending because even a measly human could recognize that."  He shrugged and walked out the door. 

This boy is going to give me a headache. But, why didn't I just say Hi? Why didn't I just talk to her? I bet she'd be scared or nervous, Does she even remember what happened before? 

I groaned and rubbed my face in my hands. I can't believe I saw her and I didn't say Hi. She's with Min Woo again. But, I can't touch her... I promised. I promised I wouldn't touch her again. My mind went back to that time again, the time where she was laying in my arms... lifeless. She's been here the whole time.. huh. I noticed little things about the others, they had curly hair, her full lips, but the things that set me off all the time was the birthmark on their neck, each one had it. She would always complain about it, sometimes she'd admire it and say it looked like a baby dragon. I chuckled to myself. 

I looked at my watch 4:20 pm. Time to go, let's hope I see her there. There's so much I haven't been able to tell her. So much I haven't been able to say. I'll ask Jay later to get the details. I sighed and fixed my hair in my reflection of the door. I grabbed a pack from the refrigerator, just in case. I headed out the door. 

"Ow!" I felt something hit me and fall on the floor. 

I could only stare. "So what, I don't get a Hi? How you been?" 

She smiled. That same smile I missed for so long. 

"You... Remember?" 


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