[1] sad but true. james hetfield, metallica

thirty seven.

Courtney's POV:

"No, I do not have anorexia! I don't have a problem! I'm fine!" I said, anger and sadness building up inside me.

How dare this doctor, who doesn't even know me, come in here telling me this. I do not have a problem! I'm not sick! I'm fine!

"Courtney, chill out." Matt tried calming me, but I only shook my head.

"Miss Grey, you could've died." Doctor Hart said calmly.

"I don't really care!" I hiss, sitting up a little bit. My heart started beating faster. It was a mixture of anxiety, and anger.

"You're going to have to stay here for a while. No questions." He says.

"Don't you want to get better?" Matt murmured, looking up at me.

James asked me that once. And that just made me sad. I miss James. I have no idea where he's at and it worries me!

"How can I get better if there's nothing wrong?" I say, my voice raising a little.

"Courtney! Don't you listen?!" Matt stood up, obviously frustrated with me.

"Sir, calm down." Doctor Hart interfered.

Matt ignored him. "Don't you listen when people tell you you're too skinny? Don't you listen to me when I tell you it hurts when you starve yourself, it hurts me when you cut, it fucking hurts! I hate seeing you like this! James, too! Don't you care about how it makes us feel?"

I bit my tongue and looked down. I'm such a bitch, aren't I? I don't deserve Matt, I don't deserve James, I don't even deserve Kirk and Lars. They may not be the best at times, but they're my best friends, and honestly like brothers to me too. I don't deserve anything good at all.

I deserve the cuts on my wrists. I deserve to be in the hospital. Apparently, I'm sick now. Okay, I deserve to be sick then!

I felt tears well in my eyes and I stared down. Matt sighed heavily and just walked out. I was left alone with Doctor Hart.

"I..I have anorexia?" I mumbled, a tear rolling down my cheek.

He nodded, "And we can help you treat it, but you just need to want to be helped."

"D..Did you talk to my boyfriend? James?" I wondered.

"Yes, I did actually, you were sleeping though. He seemed pretty upset. I can tell he loves you, he was so worried."

That made me feel a bit better. Not much, but a little is better than nothing, right? At least James still cares..I guess.

"I..I want to see him."

"I'm sorry, dear, but I don't know where he's at."

"Call him. Please." I begged, "O..Or tell my brother to, I..I just really want to talk to him."

"I can do that." Doctor Hart nodded, "And listen, I'll be back in about an hour or so to talk to you again, okay?"

I nodded slowly, biting my bottom lip. He walked out, hopefully to talk to Matt. But would Matt even call him? I don't know. Matt's probably still pissed at me.

_____________________________

Matt's POV:

I sat against the wall outside of Courtney's hospital room. With my legs bent at the knees, I sat there, crying.

That's my sister. My baby sister, in the hospital. For things she's done to herself.

I remember when we were younger, when our parents still cared about us. She was always so happy! She'd get anxiety some, but she'd always be okay afterwards. No one ever had to worry about her hurting herself or worse. Then, middle school happened. The kids got meaner, and her self esteem got lower. Our parents stopped caring. All she had was me, and all I had was her. She shut everyone out, including me, when they left.

That's my baby sister in there, sick. She's almost died twice now. One time was because of her cutting too deep, and now this. I could've lost her. The thought of that just makes me cry more.

I just wish she knew how much she means to me. How much she means to James! She means the world to him..

I felt a light tap on my shoulder and I looked up, seeing Doctor Hart standing over me, a sad smile on his face. I quickly scrambled to my feet, pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear, and wiping my eyes.

"Courtney has requested for me to ask you to call her boyfriend." He informed me, the smile never leaving his face.

I nodded a little. "I..I will."

He patted my shoulder, "Alright, son. I'll see you in about an hour I guess, if you're still here!" He smiled and walked away.

I pulled out my phone and dialed James' number, I was honestly worried about him. But, surprisingly, he answered.

"H..Hello?" Said a raspy, shaky voice on the other end, "Matt? Oh..God..Is she okay?!"

"Don't worry." I assured, "She's awake now..And well aware of what's goin' on." I bite my lip.

He stayed quiet for a few seconds.. "C..Can I come?"

"Of course you can." I raised my eyebrows, "She wants you here."

"She does?" He sounded like he was about to cry.

"Uh..Yeah, man." My voice broke a little, "She is really worried about you, a..and she needs you right now.."

"O..Okay..I'll be right there..Can I..Can I bring Kirk and Lars? They're really worried about her, too."

"Yeah, yeah, you can." I answer.

"Okay, man, thank you."