Rogue Txt: A Star Wars Story [#Wattys2017]

RO-diac and Jassian

Jyn Erso: u don't need to pretend. I've seen it

Cassian Andor: I am so confused

Jyn Erso; I know. I'll let you figure it out yourself. Just don't be afraid to come to me and tell me what you feel

Jyn Erso: I suppose it's the only way

Cassian Andor: Jyn I have no idea what you're talking about

Jyn Erso: I'm sure you do

Cassian Andor: Well then enlighten me

Jyn Erso: You've had the hots for Bodhi ever since this chat started

Cassian Andor: WHAT?!?

Cassian Andor: THATS NOT TRUE IM MARRIED TO YOU!!

Jyn Erso: We got drunk and married each other, similar to how Krennic and I ended up married

Jyn Erso: Remember?

Cassian Andor: No

Jyn Erso: Welp that's what happened because I was on the brink of losing any slight trace of soberness and I remember. Meanwhile you were 120% Sober free

Cassian Andor: Jyn I merely wanted to talk about going out for a nice evening to strengthen our relationship

Cassian Andor: Even if I did have the hots for Bodhi he'd probably reject me considering all the times I've turned him down

Jyn Erso: Srsly? That's it?

Cassian Andor: Well... we could do more after dinner ;)

Jyn Erso: Cass ur the best

Cassian Andor: I know

Jyn Erso: where are we going?

Cassian Andor: Somewhere secret. Get ready and I'll swing by and pick you up

Jyn Erso: :)

Saw Gererra: JASSIAN IS COMING UNDONE

Cassian Andor: What the

Jyn Erso: SAW GET OUT

Saw Gererra: I was referring to Jabba and Cassian

K-2SO: Help me!! Galen's being a stupid monkey again and hanging off my arms.

Saw Gererra: I'll bet that's hilarious

Cassian Andor: Can we ever get a break from you guys??

Lyra Erso: No Jyn's boyfriend you cannot

Cassian Andor: I HAVE A NAME!!!

Lyra Erso: GALEN!! THIS IS MY PHONE!! GO GET YOUR OWN!!

Orson Krennic: What the heck is going on?

Jyn Erso: Search me

K-2SO: *starts patting down Jyn*

Jyn Erso: WTBANTHA KAY

K-2SO: I am searching you. Duh

Chirrut Malbus: HFWNDKWKALD

Orson Krennic: We ruined a Jassian moment, didn't we?

Cassian Andor: INDEED

[Lyra Erso has added Galen Erso to the group chat]

Lyra Erso: Happy, Galen?

Galen Erso: :):):):) Thank u Lyra

Lyra Erso: Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date to go to. Good luck, Jyn. Don't let Cassian bring you to a dump restaurant!

Jyn Erso: Wait Mama where ru going

Lyra Erso: On a date.

Orson Krennic: With who?

Leia Organa: Me

Luke Skywalker: MY SISTER IS DATING!!???

Han Solo: You are too

K-2SO: Duh

Luke Skywalker: oh yeah. Duh

Han Solo: *facepalm*

Agent Kallus: Well this chapter lost its pure Jassian tone

Cassian Andor: Indeed

Thrawn: Kallus why are you still called Agent Kallus?

Agent Kallus: Ummmm

Thrawn: I will rename you

[Thrawn has changed Agent Kallus's name to
SuperKallusfragilisticexpialidocious]

SuperKallusfragilisticexpialidocious: Srsly?

Orson Krennic: HAHAHAHAHHA!!!

Cassian Andor: Daheck

Jyn Erso: U GUYS ARE ALL RUINIG THE NICE JASSIAN STUFF

Chirrut Malbus: Yeah sorry

Bodhi Rook: Well I'm so sorry that is happening to you. I can't IMAGINE what that feels like

SuperKallusfragilisticexpialidocious: Thrawn why

Thrawn: It's funny

Galen Erso: Is there five conversations going on at the same time

Baze Îmwe: GUYS I MADE A JYN WHALE AND A CASSIAN WHALE

Baze Îmwe: NOW I CAN PLAY JASSIAN WITH THEM

Cassian Andor: OMG

Jyn Erso: WTREEK

Chirrut Malbus: PpHnsa lefsjdbmakenjassiakamhappen

K-2SO: Chirrut says 'Let's make Jassian happen'

Orson Krennic: Why focus on Jassian when you can focus on GALENNIC??

Galen Erso: YASSSS

Jyn Erso: EVERYBODY QUIET!!

[Jyn Erso has kicked out everyone from the group chat]

[Jyn Erso has added Cassian Andor to the group chat]

Jyn Erso: Sorry meatball

Cassian Andor: It's fine

Jyn Erso: So tonight? You and me?

Cassian Andor: You, me, dinner ;)

Jyn Erso: Sounds good!

Orson Krennic: JYN HOW ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD?!? HOW CAN YOU TWO MAKE A THREESOME WITH FOOD?

Cassian Andor: How did u get back in

Orson Krennic: By being awesome.

Cassian Andor: The stupidity from you that we are dealing with here is immeasurable

Orson Krennic: What's this? Trying to make one pun feel like one hundred?

Cassian Andor: AAARRRUUGGFHHH U ARE ALL GONNA DRIVE ME INSANE

[Cassian Andor has kicked himself from the group chat]

Jyn Erso: YOU GUYS DROVE CASSIAN INSANE!!!

Jyn Erso: MY POOR MEATBALL!! 

Jyn Erso: I WILL GO CURE HIM OF HIS INSANITY!!!

[a few minutes later]

Jyn Erso: Done!

SuperKallusfragilisticexpialidocious: What did you do?

Jyn Erso: I gave him one spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down

SuperKallusfragilisticexpialidocious: Why is this chat so weird
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Idk

Please review!