Rogue Txt: A Star Wars Story [#Wattys2017]

Rogue One

I keep forgetting to update. Anyway, here's a chapter about the RO crew going to see Rogue One themselves. Note that this story will not have any spoilers so if you haven't watched Rogue One you're clear.
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Jyn Erso: GUYS GUYS I GOT TICKETS TO THE NEW MOVIE ROGUE ONE!!

Jyn Erso: But I only got tickets for two... so unfortunately only one of you can go

Orson Krennic: OH ME!!

Galen Erso: No way! I should go because I'm her dad!

Baze Malbus: I should go because I'm awesome! And Galen aren't you carbonfroze?

Galen Erso: ...

Chirrut Îmwe: As kick ass as you are Baze you're not Donnie Yen kick ass. I should go

Cassian Andor: YOU CANT EVEN SEE CHIRRUT!! IT SHOULD BE ME AND WE WILL CALL IT A DATE

Galen Erso: OH MY GOD!! LYRA OUR CHILD IS DATING!!

Lyra Erso: It better not be some damn pilot!

Cassian Andor: ...

Bodhi Rook: I should go. Because... I want to!

K-2SO: But it only seems fair if I go with Jyn so we can spend some time bonding with each other

Jyn Erso: Are you serious?

Orson Krennic: You will never bond together with Jyn like Jyn and I will

K-2SO: Um... aren't you like 20 years older than her

Orson Krennic: SHUT UP!! I CAN DREAM CANT I????

Bodhi Rook: Aren't you the one that tried to play matchmaker with Jyn and me?

Cassian Andor: I REMEMBER THAT

Galen Erso: Soooo... is Jyn dating anyone or are you all just idiots fighting for her attention?

Jyn Erso: DAD

Lyra Erso: GALEN

Orson Krennic: She's with me.

Cassian Andor: SHE'S MINE YOU B****

Bodhi Rook: I DESERVE SOMEONE TO LOVE

Baze Malbus: This would be easier if Jyn chose who she would want to go with

Chirrut Îmwe: Who are you giving the tickets to Jyn?

Jyn Erso: Um

Jyn Erso: My good friend...

Cassian Andor: Cassian Andor!

Orson Krennic: Director Orson Krennic!

Bodhi Rook: BODHI BODHI BODHI

K-2SO: K-2SO

Baze Malbus: ME

Chirrut Îmwe: Chirrut Îmwe

Galen Erso: Your beloved father

Lyra Erso: Your beloved mother

Darth Vader: OH FOR THE LOVE OF THE FORCE HERE ARE TICKETS FOR ALL OF YOU FOR SNOKE'S SAKE WHY CANT YOU SOLVE PROBLEMS THE EASY WAY

Jyn Erso: I was going to say Invisible Man

Everyone: ...

Jyn Erso: Say hi to the chat Invisible Man!

Jyn Erso: Invisible Man: HI GUYS

Orson Krennic: You only bought one ticket and said you had two for pure enjoyment, didn't you?

Jyn Erso: Yep!

Darth Vader: WELL WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH NINE EXTRA TICKETS TO ROGUE ONE?!????

Galen Erso: Sorry to break it to you Darth but you just wasted your credits buying nothing

Darth Vader: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Chirrut Îmwe: I thought the line was no

Bodhi Rook: Wait, Darth. I'll use one of the tickets. This theater doesn't have assigned seating so I can get as close to Jyn as I want 😏

Cassian Andor: In that case give one to me!

Orson Krennic: And me!

Bodhi Rook: Now we can all enjoy the movie

Cassian Andor: And spending time with Jyn

Orson Krennic: And eat popcorn!

Jyn Erso: NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Darth Vader: I thought you didn't like popcorn, Director

Orson Krennic: Well now I do!

Lyra Erso: This has got to be the weirdest group of people who want to hook up to my daughter

Galen Erso: It explains why she's still single. You're making the right choices in life, honey!