Allodoxaphobia ♅ Viktuuri

10) ''I Said GET OFF!''

A/N Wrote this whilst listening to Smile by Mikky Ekko, I recommend you listen to it. Not only is it a great song, it kind of explains this chapter...warning, possible feels.

'Yuuri, talk to me, please.' Viktor begged as the rest of the children left the classroom. Yuuri spun his head round, his raven hair falling into place. His chocolate irises piercing Viktor's heart. 'I have nothing to say to you.' Yuuri murmured what was supposed to be an affront but found no strength within himself to make it so.

'You can't ignore me forever.' He growled, his joyous façade crumbling before Yuuri's eyes. Yuuri gritted his teeth, grimacing behind Viktor's back as he turned around to make his way out. Although, Viktor wasn't going to let him go this time. This time, Viktor grabbed his arm, clutching it like a vice and returning him to the room.

'Don't touch me.' Yuuri's voice cracked as he shook his arm away. Viktor held no remorse anymore. He would make Yuuri speak, even by force. Within these events, Viktor had lost himself. He had once been happy, free and now he felt suffocated, trapped and most of all, blue. Viktor was blue. A blue that could only be compared to black. He was trapped in such darkness that only had the glimpse of hope, colour and that colour, that colour was the colour of sadness.

They had both fallen the wrong way. They were supposed to fall in love. They weren't supposed to fall apart. 'I know why you are like this, Yuuri. But, I want to hear it from you. No more denial, no more lies, no more ignoring. Just tell me.' Viktor pleaded, clutching at Yuuri's arm again. His eyes told the story, he was open, vulnerable and was ready to receive the wound.

Yuuri paused, contemplated and decided all within seconds. He put no thought into it, really. He asked himself one thing. What could go wrong? His answer, everything. So, he said it. 'I like you, okay!' His voice was explosive, sudden, unexpected. It all came too quickly and despite Viktor's previous knowledge of the subject, it didn't stop him from flinching at Yuuri's voice.

'I know it's unrequited and that's why I've been ignoring you, you...' He found nothing abrasive enough to call him. He was at a loss for words. He had once cared so much for this man but it had only made him a bomb, a bomb that had just gone off.

'Yuuri.' Viktor sighed, placing a reassuring hand on Yuuri's shoulder.

'I said GET OFF!' Viktor stumbled back, the noise as harsh as a punch. Yuuri didn't mean to explode. No one ever means to explode. It takes a lot to make a person scream and somehow, this had built up over so long, he had no choice but to explode.

'I don't want you! I don't want your help! I want none of it!' Yuuri screamed and Viktor couldn't help but be glad that these rooms were at least somewhat sound-proofed. He was sure, though, that if anyone stood outside this room, they would hear it all.

'You're really worried if anyone will hear? Of course, they will! I can tell you right now that in a few seconds someone will knock on that door and ask for an explanation!' Yuuri screamed, the vision just coming to mind. It seemed so obvious yet Viktor couldn't comprehend that behind all that screaming, Yuuri had had enough time to think of how long it would take for someone to ask what was wrong.

And, unfortunately, Yuuri was right. Exactly four seconds later, a knock was heard. Viktor immediately straightened himself out whilst Yuuri did not move. He was frozen, paralysed and he no longer cared what people heard. He didn't care if they found out he had a crush- no, more than that- on his teacher. He didn't care if they heard him scream. He didn't care if they knew of his problems. He didn't care if they knew about his powers- or lack of them. He didn't care about anything anymore.

'Is everything alright in here?' Yuuri heard a teacher ask and he let Viktor smile his way out of the conversation, passing it off as a drama rehearsal. The stupidity. But, the teacher could not argue against it and left without another word.

'Yuuri, no more shouting.' Viktor sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, his silver bangs falling into his face, making his ghastly white skin only paler. 'I don't care what you feel for me. It's not allowed but, Yuuri, I still care for you. I still want to help you.' Viktor looked up, trying to meet Yuuri's eyes. But, Yuuri denied access and held his gaze to the ground.

'I don't want your help.' Yuuri spat, trying to leave again. But in the repetitive pattern, Viktor brought him back. Not by force, he only had to say words. Their walls had collapsed and all self-doubt had flooded in. 'You need it, though.' The truth had come out. Yuuri did need Viktor, almost as much as Viktor needed him. Yet, so much pulled them apart that they couldn't find it within themselves to stay together. Not even in a romantic way, they had failed a friendship. Friendships only fail when the bind of friendship becomes too much. And, Yuuri had told Viktor too much and now those binds had snapped. They were no longer close, they were no longer friends. They were just a teacher and a student now. They were what they were supposed to be.

'Yuuri, promise me you'll at least try to be happy again. This has gone too far. I can't see you like this.' Viktor muttered, finally meeting Yuuri's eyes. Yuuri nodded hesitantly. In one motion he had just told the biggest lie of his life so far. Maybe even more than telling people he really did have a power.

He was going to try to be happy. Ha, that was impossible now. Not only had he dug himself a grave; he had buried himself in it. And now, he was just waiting to die. Waiting to die in his own grave.

word count: 1026 

published: 25.03.17