After The Storm - A Criminal Minds Fiction

Chapter 14: Just Like Mama

"Nothing" Bella said and Emily let it go. She just hugged the girl and kept ruining her fingers through the small girl's hair. Soon Bella fell asleep and Emily headed to find Morgan.

"Did something happen today with her?" She asked.

"Lots of things happened" Derek smiled opening his arms to Prentiss.

"Come on, I'm serious" Emily said with a serious face taking the spot next to him.

"She wanted to go to the church again" he said.

"She did?" Emily asked surprised.

"Yeah. I was surprised too."

"Did you take her?" She asked.

"Yes." Morgan said.

"And...?" Emily said.

"We prayed and then talked a little" he said and Emily just stared waiting for more information. "She's just... learning to deal with the fact that he's really not here anymore."

Emily knew what he meant and she felt bad that he was the one that had to deal with that. "And are you okay?" She asked him.

"Yeah. It was actually nice talking to her about it" he said. "And I think it helps that I know how it feels"

Emily nodded. "I was thinking... umm maybe we should try taking her to a group therapy. So she can hear other people too" Emily said.

"Do you think she'll open up in there? Cause I honestly don't" Derek said.

"Probably not but we'll never know if we don't try. And if she doesn't talk I think it might help that she'll at least see that she's not alone, she'll see that there are other kids kind of in the same situation" she explained.

"Emily you know that it's not just the John situation, right?" Derek said.

"I know" Emily said serious. "I never wanted to hurt her but I can't deny that I did. And I know that there are things that will be there forever no matter how hard I try to just throw them away. But we need to try. We need to try everything we can to help her learn to deal with all those feelings and... Derek she's 9 now, she's a sweet and loving kid who when is upset just wants to be quiet while her mom and her dad cuddle her and tell her everything will be okay. And I'll do that. I'll gladly do that but She's almost 10 and emotionally I feel like she's not even 8. You know that" Emily said and Derek nodded.

"I don't want her to change the way she is with us or with our friends I just want her to be able to deal with her emotions in the way she should be dealing right now. Not how she is, not trying to get away from it and hiding and holding it in till she just bursts." Emily said. "Ive tried everything I could and it's not working" she added.

"But Emily you don't show her how to do that. You know she is exactly like you are. She does exactly what you do" Derek said. "Through this whole Doyle thing I can count in one hand the times I've seen you cry. She pays attention to those things. She sees you as this strong and tough woman and she wants to be like that. She wants to be like you. She always did. You were the one that told me that it scared you how much you two looked and acted alike. So you know that what you're telling me right now applies to you too" he said.

"What do you want me to do? Go to therapy? I'm already doing that" Emily said a bit annoyed.

"No. This isn't about therapy. It's about you talking to me... and about her talking to us." Derek said.

"I know it's my fault" Emily said.

"No Em... I'm not saying that." Derek said grabbing her hand.

"It's just... I don't want her to see me crying." Emily said. "When she was little she used to cry a lot whenever I had to leave and I always just wanted to cry too but I never did. Whenever I was upset I didn't allow her see it. And we work with this stuff, we know how these things affect children and I know it affected her but I just didn't want her to see... you know... I didn't want her to see that her mommy wasn't okay" Emily said trying hard not to cry.
"I was never okay" she told Derek and the tears jumped from her eyes.