breathing. {POETRY}

this is my first poem

this is my first poem

there are a few things you should know about my previous claim

this is not my first poem

this is my first poem 

because while i've written before

there's a certain nuance to the practice and i've gotta keep going

otherwise there will be a lack of knowing

and a lack of growing

and a lack of showing

my so called self professed knowledge

when in reality i really have no idea what the hell i'm doing

or where i'm going

so please believe me on this

my ears are not blind

and my eyes are not deaf

and my heart's not in binds

but i fell off a cliff

and i hit every rock on the way down

like an upside down

merry go round

i blew into this town

quite by accident

so let's turn that frown 

upside down

when i was younger i wanted to be a truck driver

like my dad

but as i grew older i realized the arts suited me better

not because the long nights my father spent away from home affected me

which they did

and not because he was never home

which he wasn't

but because i cannot sit still for very long

i have a bad habit of not knowing where i am

and because there's been at least two times that i have hurt myself falling out of my dad's truck

my mother is an artist

like her mother before her and her mother before her

and although my father was a truck driver, he also loved music

and so i became a whirlwind of the arts

i picked up guitar and i picked up paints

i picked up a pen but that came later

i thought i could write music

which i was awful at at first

i thought i could write stories

which i am still awful at

because i try to be Stephen King

but in reality i'm more like somebody told the writer of Blue's Clues to write a Poe story

and yet here i am trying to write poetry because i guess this is what i'm okay at

and i'm trying to be a musician because that's what i'm okay at

and it's what i enjoy

so just take what you can

and what you have the knowledge to perceive

and believe

and conceive that bit of hope

that spark of joy

that only you can create 

and take it and keep it safe

tucked away in that special place only you know

and never let anyone tell you otherwise

but i digress

let me return to the matter at hand...

this is my first poem