Descendant of Merlin (Severus Snape) Book 1: Anger and Awe

Background Check

"Tell me Isabella, how much do you know about Professor Snape's past?" Remus asked clasping his hands behind his back as we walked.

"Not much," I frowned. "That's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to get him to tell me about him. I want to know him." I struggled for the right words. Remus gave me a sympathetic smile.

"I doubt you'll have much luck there," he said honestly. I sighed. That was far from what I wanted to hear.

"You seem to know him fairly well, what am I supposed to do?" I begged imploringly.

"I don't think anyone truly knows Severus, except maybe Dumbledore," he told me lightly. I frowned with frustration.

"Help me," I pleaded with glassy eyes. He looked very uncomfortable at having me stare at him so hard. He sighed.

"I can only tell you what I've heard and what I've seen," he said. His eyes were strained. I nodded encouragingly.

"Please," I prodded. He exhaled heavily.

"You know he and I have never been friends, but we were in the same year so I saw him around at school. Rumor had it his parents barely knew he existed. He only had one friend, and he lost her before our final year," he began. He looked as if he was about to continue, but I jumped in.

"How did he lose her?" I asked curiously. Remus looked increasingly uncomfortable.

"He was picked on a lot. A couple of guys in my house enjoyed humiliating him whenever they could because Severus was always trying to get them in trouble. Of course, they did like to break the rules," he smiled faintly looking a bit guilty. I was appalled.

"Were you friends with them?" I accused.

"Yes," he admitted without shame. "I never partook in their jokes, but I was one of the ones Severus tried to get expelled. That's another story, though." He didn't seem willing to elaborate further on that so I changed gears a bit.

"Were Severus and the girl he was friends with...more than friends?" I asked. Remus laughed a bit.

"They would have been if Severus had his way. He would have been her slave if she'd asked him to be. Maybe they would have become more than friends if circumstances had been different."

"What do you mean?"

"Severus has always been fascinated by the Dark Arts, but the girl, Lily, was as pure hearted as a unicorn. That wasn't the only thing that kept them apart. Severus was a Slytherin, and Lily was a muggle-born Gryffindor. That always causes problems. I'm sure you understand that," I nodded.

"One of my friends, a skilled quidditch player, took a liking to Lily too. Eventually he won her heart, and they got married. Meanwhile, Severus fell in with the Dark Lord and became a Death Eater," he said the last part carefully, watching my reaction. I froze with huge eyes.

"How do you know for sure?" I breathed. I had to make sure Remus had good reason to believe this. I wouldn't believe it based on rumor alone.

"He confessed, Isabella," Remus told me. He stopped walking as well. He seemed to watch me carefully as if still determining how much to say. I started breathing again, but my lungs were constricted. "Dumbledore spoke on his behalf in front of the Ministry. He told them Severus had made a terrible mistake but that he had seen the error of his ways and had renounced himself as a Death Eater. Do you trust Dumbledore's judgment, Isabella?" I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Dumbledore is the wisest man I know," I said tightly and started walking again. Remus fell in beside me. He nodded.

"He is also very kind. He's done more for me than I could ever repay," he said sincerely. "Dumbledore gave Severus a job here. I suspect he wanted to keep an eye on him at first, but now he trusts Severus completely. That's enough for me to act civilized, but Severus is the same as always; judging, bitter and full of dark thoughts. You must be careful with him. He may lead you somewhere you don't want to end up."

I walked to the edge of the Black Lake and ran my hand through the water. It soothed me and took most of the sick feeling away. I watched as one of the Giant Squid's tentacles moved silently through the air far out into the lake before it slipped under its surface.

I heard Remus approach closer but didn't look up. "Are you alright?" he asked kindly.

       I nodded still running my hand through the cool water. "What do you think of Severus now?" his voice was soft, but I could tell he expected me to answer. I thought about his question for a few minutes.

"I'm glad I know some of his past now, and I can see what you are saying. It's a lot to take in, but I still love him. He came back from the dark side; that's what matters," I said standing to face Remus. He nodded.

"I can tell you are a very mature young woman, but remember that every day is a struggle for Severus. Darkness is somehow in his nature. It comes naturally to him, and he has to fight it always. There could always come a day when he might return to his old ways."

I was about to respond when Severus stepped out from the tree line. He looked furious. My heart sprung to my throat and I began to sweat with nervousness and fear.

"Think you have the right to tell my business, Lupin?" sneered Severus as he stormed over with his wand drawn.

"How long were you listening?" I asked guiltily. Severus's livid gaze cut to me. There was a hard glint in his eyes, and once again his wand was pointed dangerously at Remus' throat.

"Long enough to hear his bit about me returning to the dark side," he snapped harshly. Remus looked very uncomfortable. He didn't seem to like conflict much.

"Severus, calm down. She has the right to know something about you," Remus defended himself. Severus snarled and jabbed his wand into Remus's chest.

"Severus," I called softly. He cut his eyes at me briefly before fixing his attention back on Remus. At least I wasn't the object of his fury. If he had looked at me that way I would have likely ran away as fast as I could. Remus held strong though, even if he had grown paler.

"Severus, I love you," I said with feeling. His whole face turned to me now, and I saw him soften a bit, then pain swept across his features, then he looked tired and defeated.

"Don't lie to me," he said bitterly. It was a loaded statement filled with his own sense of self-loathing. His head hung despite the anger that still radiated from him. I walked up to him and gently lowered his wand. He jumped but didn't fight me. I swept his hair back and made him look at me.

"I have never lied to you," I told him sincerely. His eyes brightened ever so slightly, and he sighed.

"Then, if you truly mean what you say, you are a foolish girl," he said straightening. His tone wasn't harsh, and I couldn't help but smile even though he was insulting me. He glared furiously at Remus who kept glancing at the ground.

"What else did he tell you?" he growled not looking at me. I thought fast.

"He told me you didn't get along with him and his friends in school, and that's why you hate him now. It was pretty much what you already said," I told him. It was true...It was just a small part of the truth. Severus seemed to suspect I wasn't telling him everything, but he didn't call me out on it which is strange for him. Maybe he decided he really didn't want to know after all.

"It really is too bad you'll be leaving in a few hours, Remus," Severus said sarcastically. He was still mad as a shaved cat dipped in ice cold water.

"Actually, Dumbledore has requested I stay for a few days," Remus corrected awkwardly. Severus looked murderous before he suddenly swooped past Remus and I and headed straight for the castle.

Remus and I exchanged a look and started after him more slowly.

"You alright?" I asked shakily. He smiled faintly and nodded.

"Yes. Severus's bite may be far worse than his bark, but he is smart. He can control himself quite well and doesn't often let his emotions cloud his judgment." We continued the rest of the way in silence.