The Idiocy of Life (GirlxGirl)

3. What I Want

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3.

"Maybe I'm wrong, and you're completely dumb."

I bit my lip from shouting back of her. 

How dare she come into my car and call me dumb. 

I got into Harvard, and I'm supposed to go there in the fall.I was the only person in my small town to ever go to school on the east coast.

"Cat's got your tongue?" she scoffed with a sly smile.

"I'm not dumb," I blurted.

She laughed again. 

She sounded like a psycho.

"So you do like yourself. Why kill yourself if you're so stuck up and smart?"

She had that ridiculous smirk. 

It caused a dimple to appear beneath her eyes and her blond, bushy eyebrows raised in a cocky way.

I tried to imagine how many times she smirks in a day. 

How many times she smirks at people who are just trying to help.

How many times she smirks to hide emotions.

I hated that smirk.

Yet, I found it captivating.

Beautiful. How can an expression that beautiful create so much hate and bad stigme.

I was so lost looking at her face that I forgot to answer her question.

"Hello?" she waved her gnarled hands in front of my face. "You there, girly?"

I shook myself out of my stance and said "I don't like myself."

She rose her eyebrows, "But you think you're smart?"

I felt like she was trying to get me to say something. But I was not going to give in to her mind tricks.

"That's the thing. I am smart. And I'm sick and tired of being used and shown off as an IQ."

That was true. Maybe not the whole truth, but it was truthful enough. I am smart according to my IQ, and I'm supposed to be proud of that. But I'm not proud.

"So, school is your life?" she prompted me to clarify.

I laughed with sarcasm, "Are you kidding me? School is my whole entire life. I mean, I didn't have a social life. I didn't go to parties. I didn't really date. I didn't do things for fun. My whole life was made for school."

My voice had risen to a tempered shout, and my palms were getting very sweaty.

 I've never expressed this feeling out looud, do to the misconception that I loved school.

And if that meant Harvard. Then I always smile.

"That's pathetic," Ruby raved, throwing her hand. 

I noticed that her nails were painted black, except much of the black was chipped off and her nails were short and stubby.

I was drawn to that too, trying to decide why she keeps her nails so short and why her knuckles are red. She had firm tissue....great for nice nails and she seemed like the long nail ytpe--yet she didn't.

But then, as fast as the thought came, it hurried away and hid behind the monstrous statement she just made.

For once I agreed with something she claimed.