Elise Runs and Dorothy Falls

Chapter 17

He called himself Mysterio but his friends called him Tyrio, although because his name was Max Longbranch in reality, only one thing could be said of him for certain: that he was a goblin you shouldn't let near the power tools.

"All impulse and no drag," he said to himself as he made his way to the bridge of his ship, coffee thermos in hand. He often talked to himself about himself. "Isn't that right, Albb?"

His pilot, Albbenaro, another goblin, slouched at his post on the bridge of their zeppelin the Whim. Tyrio's zeppelin, really. He was after all the captain.

"Yes, sir. That's what they say," replied Albb.

Tyrio sauntered into the compartment and settled down in his big chair. The bridge of the Whim had a curved, frontward facing viewing port covered with windows, behind which sat the pilot at his wheel, Tyrio in his chair, and furthest away the weaponsmaster at his gunnery station. Currently the weaponsmaster was absent, however. The bridge couldn't have been more than twenty paces across and twenty paces wide; however, it didn't feel small. In fact, it felt just large enough to feel strangely empty. It needed at least three more bodies to feel less like an aluminum cave.

"You know what I like?" Tyrio asked suddenly.

"What's that?"

"Sunshine."

Out the huge forward windows they got a whole lot of hangar door. This at least gave Tyrio's tyrescent light bulbs a chance to shine (pardon the pun). They glowed a hot white-green and looked liable to explode. At this point, though, it might be beneficial to know a little about goblins.

Goblins were among the three sentient races on Unum, the others being humans and what humans called 'barbarians'. There weren't many goblins, but they probably outnumbered the barbarians now, who were essentially no more. Goblins originated on another continent to the east and only reached Unum seventy-five years ago. Despite this, they had integrated into society very well. How? Why? Goblins were brilliant mechanics, particularly when it came to flying. They had invented the zeppelin.

Now, as for their appearance! Unlike the warty goblins you're familiar with, the bargob goblin has smooth skin, and, by any standard of our imagining him, a familiar physique. Still, their short stature, huge pointed ears, medium green skin, and featureless yellow eyes made them appear quite different than humans. And one mustn't forget their long pointed noses. Or claws. Trim claws!

Tyrio, not being the eldest goblin among his brothers, had no hair (only the eldest goblin ever does), although he made up for any perceived immaturity with a tall pith helmet, which, if he so desired, doubled as a knapsack. He wore dusty khaki fatigues so messy with straps, buckles, and belts that, to you or me, he looked like a Napoleonic Zulu-hunting madman, and he topped off his getup with big black laboratory boots and a long white lab coat. You wouldn't be the first to think he looked strange.

"You know what I'm going to build next?"

"No, what?"

"A shrinking machine."

"A what?"

"A shrinking machine!"

"Yes, sir."

Albbenaro on the other hand, who was almost old enough to be Tyrio's father, wore a leather Air Army jacket, matching britches, and a flight cap with goggles. Under his coat he wore a dark olive skirmishing uniform earned during his stint as an elite skirmisher in the Ground Army. He had been a sharpshooter, and only because a leg injury slowed him down did he ever join the Air Army. To you or me, he looked like the best of British riflemen in 1809 and the best of British fighter pilots in 1917. You wouldn't be the first to think he looked badass. He lit up a jet-black cigarette.