Falling Too (Tyler Joseph)

Chapter 25

Since my car was still in a state of disrepair I was glad that Carly was nice enough to give me a ride to the Twenty One Pilots concert. She was so excited to watch Josh and Tyler play that she chattered about it nearly nonstop. I couldn't resist grinning as I noticed how much she brought up Josh, they always seemed to have had more than friendly feelings towards each other. I wanted to see if tonight would be the night for something to finally happen. Other than that, I was nearly a nervous wreck.

I haven't seen Tyler for almost a month and to say that he hasn't been on my mind would be one of my biggest lies to date. Madison's remark in the hospital parking lot about Tyler having problems that she couldn't discuss lingered in my mind like a dark storm cloud. I don't know if showing up at this concert will be a good or bad thing for him. I feel like I've hurt him enough already as it is and I was worried that this would only make it worse. I decided that I was going to just stay out of his line of sight as best as I could.

I turned my attention out the window to the snowfall outside, everything was covered in at least an inch of white and it didn't appear like it was going to let up any time soon. Carly had her windshield wipers on at full force so she could see into the snowy night ahead of us, but not even the weather could dampen her cheery mood.

"Do you think Josh will be glad to see me at their show?" Carly asked with a mixture of excitement and worry in her tone.

I rose an eyebrow at her pointing out, "He already knows you're coming with me."

"I know, but how do you think he feels about it?"

"He always likes it when you're around Carly, why would this time be any different?"

A giddy grin sprung upon her face at my words, making me smile slightly. I found myself wondering if I've ever acted that way about Tyler, which only brought my mood back down again.

"Can I ask you something?" Carly questioned with a now serious expression on her face.

"Shoot."

"Why exactly did you decide to stop talking to Tyler that night in the hospital?"

I nervously licked my lips before explaining, "I just knew that it would be better for him if I made sure that we weren't around each other."

"How so?"

I shrugged, "Well, first of all, he left the basketball team right after he met me..."

She cut me off, "But wasn't that the reason you stuck up for him? Because he was trying to quit?"

"Yeah..."

"All you did was reassure him that it was the right choice since it was what he had wanted."

"True, but then he dropped out of college..."

"His decision."

"And his mom hates me for taking Jamie out of the picture."

"She should be thanking you. You and I both know that the girl is a monster. Plus, didn't you tell me that Tyler turned Jamie down way before he started being friends with you?"

I nodded in agreement, "And it was my idea for us to go out driving after his band member's left."

"There was no way you could have known that you were going to have an accident. That's why it's called an accident because it's unintentional."

I sighed, "You have a point, but she was threatening to kick him out and I guess I just got scared. It was the only thing that made sense for me to do."

"Ash, I know how you are. You probably panicked and decided to just run for it. I hate to say this, but you have a bad habit of running away when things get tough."

Before I could think of what to say back we were pulling into the venue's parking lot and Carly hastily made her way inside, while dragging me along. It was clear that we had made it here just in time because Josh was already on stage behind his drums. I could tell that he was very on edge to be playing for an audience, even if there were only maybe twenty people watching. Carly and I found an empty space near Josh and as soon as he saw us, a bright smile lit up his face. He sent us a quick wave before Tyler burst onto the stage.

It was very obvious that he had found his stage presence, something that swayed between being serious and then over to high energy. I was honestly glad that he seemed so lost in the show that he hadn't noticed me or if he did, he hadn't shown any sign of it. At the last song, Tyler sat back down behind his piano. He leaned forward to his microphone, dark brown eyes scanning the crowd they had gained.

My heart felt as if it had stopped when his gaze found me and then he began to speak, "So this song is a bit personal for me, so sorry about that. None the less, this is 'Prove Me Wrong.'"

I quickly realized that I had never heard this song, which was odd because I thought I had known all the songs Tyler had wrote.

And then he started to sing, "I don't know where I am supposed to go. So, I might just take my pride and go. Some people, they know, know everything, but I know that they don't know my heart."

Part of me wanted to just leave because I couldn't handle the intensity in his eyes, but that seemed to be the very same thing that was making me stay.

"Cause I, oh yeah, I believe in love. And I hope I can show you what I mean. And I don't believe love is for me, oh. So, won't you come around and prove me wrong?" He sang and that when I knew why I had never heard this song before because it was about me.

"Won't walk the world any different and my path won't change, until you make a wall and make me fall, and break me down."

I felt Carly's hand gently grab mine and squeeze it softly, had she known that this was going to happen?

"I don't know, no. I don't know if I wrote this song in vain. Vain, in vain, vain..."

I could feel other people's eyes on me now, they must have realized that he was singing to me, and only me.

"Oh, yeah and I - oh, yeah I believe in love. And I hope I can show you what I mean. And I don't believe love is for me. So, won't you come around and prove me wrong?"

My vision became foggy and I was doing my best to keep myself in check. I can't let him see me cry, he'll know the truth if I do.

"Prove me wrong, yeah. You don't know me and I don't know you. Tell me, what should I do? Oh..."

I can't do this, I just can't.

"So, won't you come around and prove me wrong?"

The second the song ended I bolted, unable to stop the tears now. I raced out of the building and into the snow-covered world outside. I relished in the silence as I brushed away the tears streaming down my cheeks. I let out a soft sob as I stared up at the dark cloudy sky, wondering why I had let them talk me into this. It wasn't like I truly didn't want to be with Tyler, because I certainly did, but it seems like nothing is willing to let that happen. No matter how badly I wanted to brush aside my worries and storm back in there to tell him the truth, I just couldn't. I'm just so afraid of hurting him.

A soft creaking sound caught my attention and I turned to see Tyler standing before me.