The Wretched and Divine {Black Veil Brides}

15 - Lost It All

    There was a silence that split through the battlefield like a knife.  I wasn‘t sure why the world had gone so quiet, why the man behind Light now had my sword in his chest.  Who was screaming?  Why the hell was she choking?  She didn‘t have anything to choke on.  I didn’t realize much, only that I was now holding a red haired girl as blood poured out from the wound in the center of her abdomen.  It didn’t make any sense that she was bleeding.  Who had stabbed her?  She was too good to be hurt, but there she was, gasping in my lap.  Her eyes were wide, full of fear and desperateness, mouth left agape as more of the red gore began to pour from her lips.  Tears were coming from those eyes now, her breath barely even existing.  I was holding her but I didn’t know what was going on.  I touched her face, running a thumb along the length of her jaw as I stared in disbelief. 

    Still, I couldn’t understand what the fuck was going on.  Voices were swarming around, cries from off in the distance but even when I raised my head, I wasn’t sure what anyone could be cheering for.  I turned back to Light, watching helplessly as more red painted her lips.

    She was gasping like a fish suddenly, mouth sucking in as much air as she could.  Panic surged through me, heart hammering and body quivering.  I couldn’t do anything, couldn’t stop her from bleeding.  It was pouring out of her belly and pooling on the ground but it was more disturbing to listen to her.  Gurgling noises started coming from her throat, bubbles on her tongue while some of the crimson shot onto my face as she tried to breath again.  Eyes continued to stare at me as though she wanted to burn my image into her thoughts but I wasn‘t sure why.  I didn’t know what to do, hands touching her face, her hair thickened with dried blood and the wound on her chest that continued to pour warmth from her. 

    I wasn’t sure how I got here, to feel lost and frightened whereas a few moments ago, I’d been the killer again.  I had slaughtered enemies with a single slice, fought through and made my way through the throng of armored men.  We had been gods only instances before, leading mortals into the fray.  How the fuck had I gotten here, to a point where I was watching this woman, my woman…die? 

    “Sixx!”

    I couldn’t tell who’s voice it was calling me.  The sound was so fucking muddled, so goddamn lost in my own thoughts that I brushed it off.  Even as someone started shaking me, I couldn’t stop staring at the girl in my arms.  She was still gasping, still losing color in her face and her eyes, still staring but her hand was reaching up.  What was wet on my face?  Blood?  I reached down to her, pressing my mouth to her forehead as her hand touched the back of my head.  Why did I feel like I had to say goodbye…like she was saying goodbye?

    “No!” I found myself screaming.  “Goddammit woman you can’t fucking leave me!”

    But the light was leaving her gaze, the half panicked expression on her face going slack while her arm fell from where it had sat.  I watched her as she left her body, stared hopelessly as her eyes went gray and her form went entirely limp.  I trembled, ears ringing in the din of whatever was going on around me.  Was I still crying out?  Was that me making a fucking horrible, weeping cacophony?  Fuck.  I held her close, rocking back and forth but still only half conscious of what the rest of me was doing.  She was still warm, hair soaked in as much blood as her torso and shirt.  I could feel it as I held her, still pushing out of her skin as I cradled her.  Was I doing that?  The red gore soaked through to my skin, the last bits of her warm spirit attached to the stuff that now covered me.  Her head was against my shoulder, my hand holding her to me.

    But someone else was touching me.

    I glanced up to see Jinxx trying to peel me away from the creature that had saved me from the dark.  She had been the one to kindle my fire, to set me ablaze and set me up on this throne.  She was the one who had kicked me in the ass, made me think more about my decisions.  Light was the one I fell in love with, the one who made my world shine.  She…she was the one that gave me some fucking hope.