The Wretched and Divine {Black Veil Brides}

5 - We Don't Belong Here

    There were voices all around me, shouts and clamors that caused me to stir slightly.  I felt like I was attempting to open my eyes but nothing was moving as of yet.  The idea that I couldn’t move my own body sent me into a flurry of panic, heart hammering in my chest as I continued to try to peel my eyelids back.  Nothing was happening and my fists would not clench.  I wanted to scream but no sound would come from my lips.  I wanted to kick and fight, but there was no stirring in any of my limbs.  The sinking feeling in my gut made my whole body tingle with adrenaline, but even as I tried, I remained in a frozen state as though I were trapped in a corpse.  The idea made me break out in a what I could only hope was a true cold sweat.  I prayed I was not dead, laying caught in a carcass that would never move for me again.

    And then I could understand what the voices were saying.

    “He was holding onto her Jinxx, couldn’t you fucking see that?” someone with a male voice growled, “Can’t you see that there’s something wrong with that?”

    “What’s wrong with it?” I heard Jinxx’s familiar voice reply in annoyance, “He wanted to protect her, big fucking whoop.”

    “He held onto her like she was his fucking wife or something,” the other man snarled.

    “So what CC?  I don’t know what you’re tripping out on,” Jinxx grumbled.

    “He is the leader of this shit and if she’s involved, he is going to lose his head and you know it,” CC replied spitefully and I heard feet shuffling as though they were coming closer or moving away.  I couldn’t decide yet.  “I mean look at her.”

    Definitely closer.

    “What CC?"

   "If he falls in love with her huh?  Did you think of that?  If he does that, this bitch is going to compromi-”

    “If he falls in love with her man, that’s just what’s going to happen,” Jinxx replied, “If he loses his head, we are going to be there for him to keep going.  Besides, Sixx isn’t the number one on this thing anymore, Cracken is.  He is calling the shots.”

    “Bu-”

    “Dude shut the fuck up,” Jinxx snapped before I heard a clap on skin, “It’s going to be okay.”  I heard a grumble before someone grasped my wrist, seeming to check the pulse.   “It isn’t even set in stone if she’s going to wake up or not yet.”

    “Well,” whispered CC, “If she does, it means trouble.”

    “And I think it means the same if she doesn’t,” he replied, “But she’s stabilized for now as far as I can tell.”

    “Yeah,” he conceded, “He hasn’t stopped asking about her.  That’s why I know she’s a problem.”

    “Or a solution.  Something to fight for, you know?  That’s what Doll is for me.”

    I wasn’t sure what they were talking about.  None of it made sense to me and I couldn’t tell if they were really speaking of me.  All I knew was that I wanted to wake up.  I wanted to sit up straight and scream, ask questions, cry, freak out or even punch someone right in the face.  Were the gates of heaven locked shut and the pits of hell filled up so that I was trapped here in this cadaver?  They had said I was stable, but I couldn’t move so it made no sense to think that I was in a viable body.  Something was obviously, blatantly wrong with me and it terrified me to no end. 

    It was a long time before I heard anything again, or at least I assumed it was a long time.  There was silence permeating the entire room and my ears had been ringing for what seemed like forever.  I was still breathing, I could feel that as my lungs inflated and deflated on cue.  I wasn’t controlling anything though so perhaps the length of time was not so stretched as I had imagined.  However, when I once more heard the sound of footsteps, my heart leapt into my throat.  All that ran through my head were allegations of fear that surrounded my mind and choked me fitfully, forcing me to once more try to move.