Teach Me(Student/Teacher)

Chapter 18 - Exposed

Monday came both too soon and not soon enough at the same time. It's not like I didn't like to see my family, but my mom is what one would call a helicopter parent and she wanted to all about what I've been up to at school, and it's hard talking about anything else while my brain seems to be circling around one subject. 

Still, leaving was hard and I gave my dad an extra long hug when he dropped me off at school, a little teary eyed I made my way to class.

Doing whatever it took to avoid Mr Dimaano's eyes I immediately sought out Gavriel, he waved and made mini motions to rush me over.

"I wanted to talk to you in person."

"About what?" What does he know? Before Gav could reply Mr Dimaano began his lecture, I still looked expectantly at Gav, ignoring Mr Dimaano, but he simply shook his head and focused eyes up front, too afraid of getting on the teacher's bad side, I side and turned away, looking toward the board as well.

The moment Mr Dimaano finished his explanation and began walking around the room inspecting students independent work, Gavriel turned to me.

"Are you going to tell me or what? I don't want to say it first cause it was your ... experience to share but damn girl I wanna chat." I pressed my lips together, this wasn't the right time or place to talk about this.

"How do you even know anyway?"

"Clary told Kirkos," of course she did, "He told me." 

"I swear, sometimes she has the biggest mouth."

"So? How was it? Are you going to go all hoe now that you're not a virgin anymore?" Gav's line of questioning was halted by someone clearing their throat, looking up our faces drained, Mr Dimaano stood above us with a scowl on his face, Gavriel looked horrified but it was nothing compared to how I felt, I bent my head and stared down at the paper in front of me until he left. Gav tried to slightly nudge me but I just glared at him every time.

The end of class couldn't come fast enough as I scrambled to gather my books and head out the door.

"Miss Devout, I'd like for you to speak with you for a moment." Mr Dimaano's voice resonated through me, I hesitated, Gavriel gave me a worried look as he made his way around me and out the door. Looking back I lock eyes with him. I can't do this. I bend my head and look to the floor and I make my eye out of the room, ignoring the strange looks other students were giving me.

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"I really am sorry," Gavriel softly spoke as he pushed a cherry tomato around his plate.

"About what?" Clary's attention turned from Kirkos to Gav, we were all gathered at our lunch table, eating chicken, rice, and garden salad from the cafe.

"I accidentally exposed Nicki in front of Mr Dimaano in photography this morning."

"He basically shouted my current ... situation"

"Ooo that's so embarrassing," Clary cringed and everyone gave me sympathetic looks, I just glared at them, "At least he's young, he'll probably be more chill about it." My stomach dropped at her words, I don't know how I'll ever face him again.

The rest of the day goes by, I don't pay attention, and I don't talk. I just head back to my dorm and take a nap.

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Waking up nearly five hours later my mouth is dry and my brain is fuzzy. I wipe the drool off my chin as I look around for Clary, she isn't here and the room is dark, I pick up my phone to check if she texted me. There was only one message, it read Matthew.

Come. Received three hours ago. Shit. I sit in contemplation, knowing I'd have to face him at some point if I plan on surviving the school year and wanting to see him, but terrified of the conversation that was bound to happen. Isn't it too late anyway?

I want to see him. Getting out of bed I quickly change clothes simply into leggings and a long t-shirt, wash my face, brush my hair and teeth, and reapply my makeup, I slide on a jacket and make my way out of the dorm.

Its fresh outside as the sun has long since set due to the shortening days, I cross my arms and huddle into myself guarding my chest from the chilly winds.

Once again I find myself in front of his door, hesitantly I raise my fist and knock.

My world becomes a whirlwind of movement, he pulls me threw the door and is instantly on me, coming at me from all sides he picks me up and pushes me against the closed door behind me. I have no time to register, his kisses are like thunder, his chest rumbles against me.

"Walk out on me," he breathes, "Ignoring me in class," his tongue enters my mouth, "Leaving me unanswered for three hours," he bites my lip. His hands grip my upper arms firmly, almost painfully, I try desperately to keep up.

And all of a sudden, its over. Stepping back he gazes at me, breathing heavily he brings his wrist to his lip and wipes away the residue of our kiss, I stand in shock waiting for him to make the next move.

"You have some nerve Miss Devout." There's a new fire in his eyes I haven't seen before.

"I must, I'm here," I breathe out, my whole diaphragm collapsing on itself, quickly I turn so he can't see how shaken I am, I walk to the couch, sitting awkwardly now feeling like a sore thumb in his space, I try to tighten into myself taking up a slim space. He sits too close beside me and rests his arm on the back of the couch, he spreads himself out like a bear reading itself for hibernation, his legs are spread and his knee presses into mine.

I feel his eyes on me as I stare into the the blank screen of the tv which was now a flat screen hanging on the  wall instead of the old fashioned box it once was.

"You've changed your tv."

"You're no longer a virgin?" Okay so we're just going to jump right in then.

"You heard?"

"I would have been hard pressed not to."

"It was last Friday."

"I didn't realize you had a boy you were interested in." He strained the word boy and I bit my lip.

"I didn't know him per se ..." He gave me a hard look.

"How did you meet him," he spoke with clenched teeth.

"At an out of town party," he sucked in a deep and sharp breath.

"And what is his name?"

"I don't know," and just like that I was knocked with all the shame and humiliation I felt leaving the party a few days ago.

"Jesus," he swiped his hand down his face, "How stupid can you be?"

"What?"

"What did you think would happen? Were you drunk?"

"Ye-" abruptly he stood.

"What the hell were you thinking? Why would you let yourself get into such a state?" His eyes were so cold so void of the fire from earlier, my eyes burned. I couldn't answer, I didn't need to he could see right through me.

"You're a petulant child," my mouth dropped open, "Did you really think this would impress me?  This does't make you experienced or anything but an immature little girl with no self-respect," my eyes filled with tears, I knew it was true, but all I could do was sit there and try not to cry, I needn't give him another reason to think me childish.

"I-"

"I think you should go," he sighed, turning away, I sucked in the breath biting my lip I stood, I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

What was I thinking?

Don't worry I'm going somewhere with this

"Hey there smart momma, typin' recipes?" -Johnny B.