Spoken Words And Hugot Lines.

I Can't Keep Up by Si Malaya on Tumblr.com

I can't keep up
See, I'm not just sad or just alone
I can't keep up
The days been running too fast
And I don't want to keep up
With the speed, with the fast pacing
Of everything, of leaving people
Of trying to pursue dreams
Of trying
These days can I just sit down
Stare at you, maybe
And just let time pass me by
Let my friends wear their
Self-proclaimed trophies
Let everyone cry about their
Colorful lives
Let everyone tell me they have
Secure bank accounts
I don't really care
I don't want to join their game
It's too petty
It's an illusion, a bait, a trick
Can't you see?
No one's ever too happy
Tell me what you do when you're alone
And you're not having an intimate time
Tell me what you do
When everyone has left you
Do you hug the likes and the hearts that you get
Do you fancy over the comments
And tell yourself
"Hey, world, look at me, everyone likes me"
Because the truth is it's all a lie
A hack of reality
A disparity between what's called life and lie
Because the truth is you also want to cry
When you're alone and no one's asking you out
Because they got new friends to spend their nights with
Go home wasted, and they have already forgotten
How you took care of them
I can't keep up
So go along, don't drag me
Don't waste me
Don't try to tell me I'm running too slow
One day I might get left out
I'd rather stay here, embrace humanity
See where my vulnerabilities can take me
I can't keep up
With your mask parade
I like it raw and broken
I like it me
I like it just it is
Slow, so I can smell the winds
Slow, so I can count the grace falling on me
Slow, because I'd like to take time
To thank every person who has come to help me
To tell me that
"Hey, you're not alone"
I can't keep up
And maybe I never will
Just tell me how it is in the finish line
Because I think I'm not running towards
A finish line, or a one-stop destination
I can't keep up
See, I'm not just sad
I just choose to be
The human I'm supposed to be